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Open Poetry #34
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~K~
Member
since 2004-07-27
Posts 148


0 posted 2004-11-08 10:57 AM



My voice cracks
Your neck snaps
I misplaced
my keys
again
WAKE UP
I kick your
corpse
I'm late
but I
can't fit
through
this door
Drink me
she says
with eyes
fixed
on nothing
I sink to
the floor
and drown
in the rivers
of blood
WAKE UP
she grins
& taunts me
with her
emptiness
but the door
is gone
& I sleep on.

© Copyright 2004 ~K~ - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
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Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2004-11-08 11:50 AM


Intense. I'll not forget my keys after this read. (But of course, there is another layer in this write.)
muted
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Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
2 posted 2004-11-08 09:27 PM


ive read this one and "A Time to Love" before responding....

and find it interesting that this one is in open, and the other is in dark...when it would normally seem it should be the other way around....

so yes, kacey is right, layers here...as often there is

and this here(this emotion you capture): i have written like this, and i have known the motivation behind it...and its raw...and thats what is appealing

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