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Open Poetry #34
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mytuesdaywishes
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 254
a voice from the musicbox

0 posted 2004-11-06 12:34 PM


one last year to render me heartless
the heat of summer blessed us all
and the rain came home with me in a paper cup
to remind me to smile at the waning tailights
there's always something holy in saying goodbye
and to think, i had forgotten what it was like
to need someone so much the laughing hurts
a month later, i ache for it. i ache for it.
i turn to wince at the vacancy of home
and my lips are lost on this place.
the day repeats itself and i wish for concertos
and arms and hips or the slight curve of something meaningful
i want dark and glorious manifestos to leak from these two eyes
and i want the world to see where i've been
and i want the world to understand what it's like
to live inside weightless days
and how we wrapped ourselves in gravity when we left,
locked together against the unbearable momentum of august.
i want the world to learn to love a place in a thousand different ways
and to set a dream on fire and watch eternity burn
standing there, next to strangers i'd give my life
to hold in my arms one more time.
for once i witnessed dry sticks turn to gold
inside a magic square that will never be the same.
and somewhere, along the sidewalks
where we saturated with our last immortal words to each other
past the library shelves that know our stories
and the theater that stretched our souls,
there are poptart crumbs and the smell of lachrymosal nights,
there are echoes of familiar breathing and unfinished songs,
there is the weight of wild summer and lucid freedom.
there lurk the ghosts of the weeks that changed us.
there, beyond the reverie and the spanish moss,
live the hearts of those who fell in love with it all.

in the end it's not just you with your memories and your scars, fall on me if you ever forget how beautiful you are.

© Copyright 2004 Rachael - All Rights Reserved
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
1 posted 2004-11-06 12:47 PM


I am in awe of the images set before me in this work.  I hope you won't mind my sending this to a few people to read.  I loved the line of bringing home the rain in a paper cup but then I live in Vancouver and bring it home in every place it gets into   Nicely done!

Example is not the main thing in influencing others, it is the only thing.
~ Albert Schweitzer

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2004-11-06 12:52 PM


awesome piece!
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

3 posted 2004-11-06 12:54 PM


inside a magic square that will never be the same.
and somewhere, along the sidewalks
where we saturated with our last immortal words to each other
past the library shelves that know our stories
and the theater that stretched our souls,
there are poptart crumbs and the smell of lachrymosal nights,
there are echoes of familiar breathing and unfinished songs,
there is the weight of wild summer and lucid freedom.
there lurk the ghosts of the weeks that changed us.
there, beyond the reverie and the spanish moss,
live the hearts of those who fell in love with it all.


you use such amazing imagery in your work. I love this. Kudos.

The greatest beauty on earth, is
found in the hearts of those
who love....

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2004-11-06 01:03 PM


mytuesdaywishes
You are a bouquet of symbols and sounds.
Enjoyed.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2004-11-06 01:06 PM


What a beautiful piece!
Your use of imagery is fantastic!
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

Now while the leaves still dance on the wind
While the moon and the clouds come spinning
Will you whisper my name again?
Again..and again.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
6 posted 2004-11-06 02:22 PM


the day repeats itself and i wish for concertos
and arms and hips or the slight curve of something meaningful

i've tried, but i could never have worded better than this. the sum of my days. thanks

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
7 posted 2004-11-06 04:07 PM


"i want the world to learn to love a place in a thousand different ways
and to set a dream on fire and watch eternity burn"

The entire piece is stunning but those lines left me momentarily blinded by imagery.

I salute you.

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
8 posted 2004-11-06 04:13 PM


This is perhaps one of the best written poems I've had the opportunity to read ( and I've read more than my share) The imagery, the flow, the wording all were simply perfect. Excellent post, I'll be sure to read more of your work
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

9 posted 2004-11-06 04:37 PM


I was thinking of you the other day tuesday, wondering where you were and how much I needed to read you, and presto! here you are.

your images, phrases,  everything is just fabulously stunning.

I look forward to more from you, soon.... yes?

Maree

P.S doin tha library thang.

into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread.
~Sarah McLachlan~

myheart
Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 160
lost in your eyes
10 posted 2004-11-06 05:02 PM


so many wonderful lines - I can't choose just one. lovely.
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
11 posted 2004-11-06 05:46 PM


"and i want the world to understand what it's like
to live inside weightless days
and how we wrapped ourselves in gravity when we left"
Damn, this is a superb write, Rachel. I love this emotional pleading, for understanding and acknowledgement.
Yes, and that title fits perfectly.
fine writing job.

Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
12 posted 2004-11-06 05:49 PM


I now ask myself....why haven't I been
reading this poet's words before now?  

Loved this,  such images,  so much thought
and feeling within the lines.  Exceptional!

Kaoru
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Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
13 posted 2004-11-08 05:06 AM


I really adore this, so much...saving it for later reading.
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