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Open Poetry #34
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Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2004-11-05 07:37 AM


Lines they say
Run two ways
But that’s not always true

When it rained
I stood under the eave
Letting the spiral of smoke drift
As I tried to wrap around me
The edges of you
That I might tuck behind my eyes
Those images and let them burn through
The glazed film
      That kept me from seeing you

Done,
I flipped the end to the wind
As I turned to go back inside
But stopped a moment
To let the mist hit my face

And pretend
   It was your lips that wet me
leaving me

warm


© Copyright 2004 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2004-11-05 07:59 AM


Capt,
A warm misty thought, enjoyed.  




miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
2 posted 2004-11-05 08:23 AM


Lines they say
Run two ways
But that’s not always true

Perhaps, perhaps not!  How does time run?  Is it linear or does it run in a cycle?  The older I become, the more I think "cycle".

I so enjoy your writing. It speaks softly but elicits major "feel".

               miscellanea

            

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

3 posted 2004-11-05 08:25 AM


you capture the essence of deep feelings so well...a pleasure to read
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

4 posted 2004-11-05 08:28 AM


But stopped a moment
To let the mist hit my face

And pretend
   It was your lips that wet me
leaving me

warm


smiling here, absolutely lovely m'friend...



Mxx

into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread.
~Sarah McLachlan~

scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
5 posted 2004-11-05 08:35 AM


Wonderful Ron.  You make words dance.

believe in what your heart feels...

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2004-11-05 09:05 AM



Shimmering eyes here...
could be allergies,
but then, it could just be
a perfect poem.

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
7 posted 2004-11-05 10:47 PM


mmmmmmmm- sigh -

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
8 posted 2004-11-06 10:51 AM


Ron

"Lines they say
Run two ways
But that’s not always true"

I love the thought of that!  


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
9 posted 2004-11-06 10:55 AM


I love how you free verse!
Copperbell
Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956

10 posted 2004-11-06 11:07 AM


Loved this...could see it, feel it, smell it all
Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
11 posted 2004-11-06 01:44 PM


Now THAT was poetry m'friend.
babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City
12 posted 2004-11-06 01:47 PM


And pretend
   It was your lips that wet me
leaving me

warm
*******************

yeah....smooth stuff, chief...
smooooooooooth...

so much love,
**babyblu**

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
13 posted 2004-11-06 02:07 PM


killer..absolutely killer ending.damn
BloomingRose
Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092
Florida
14 posted 2004-11-06 03:50 PM


Romantic thoughts do drift in. Nice poem.
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