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Open Poetry #34
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Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2004-11-04 01:33 PM


I rose quietly from the page
  to let my own eyes turn a distance upriver
where the water broke grey yet over stones
untouched by the sun, she still wore night's gown
trimmed in lace that let my eyes almost see underneath
the form of her curves as she moved

Funny
I thought
this river has haunted me forever
and the closer I get to her the further away she seems

bending over I picked up the journal
  and walked away from her and the river
to find the outcrop I knew would be there
a short tabled boulder not quite broken from the bone

There
I turned the page and wrote:

"My own name does not belong among stars or across the bowl of sky."

then stopped and turned to a blank page to try again

" Beneath the skin of words written on these pages lies the beat of my heart. Something I denied."

and stopped
  closed the pages with care
as I turned to walk back to her who moves through me
and to her that would touch some part of me
I was afraid to show

When I touched her hair she turned
  and all I could do was grin
then kiss her
         as I took her arm leading her back
to a lazy morning touch of skin

as I read to her what I had written before

" Someday, I will understand perhaps that you
are deeper than this still pool inside me
and I will know what lies behind the silence of your eyes
as they scan places I have seen so many times before
with a wonderment of new
  and a sadness that I thought
                 only I knew"

My voice broke then

    When I felt her hand
               Reach for my chest
And the heart she knew
                             Lay within


© Copyright 2004 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

1 posted 2004-11-04 01:35 PM


your words bring a smile...and a need to say more....please....

The greatest beauty on earth, is
found in the hearts of those
who love....

babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City
2 posted 2004-11-04 01:41 PM


such a tender vulnerability in this...draws your reader in...
and pray...you never let go...

lol...damn,

you the MAN...

lol
**babyblu**

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

3 posted 2004-11-04 01:41 PM


whewwww, standing ovation, lighting candles, all I can hold while clapping, and screaming BRAVO!!!!

My oh my!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2004-11-04 01:44 PM


" Someday, I will understand perhaps that you
are deeper than this still pool inside me
and I will know what lies behind the silence of your eyes
as they scan places I have seen so many times before
with a wonderment of new
  and a sadness that I thought
                 only I knew"

My voice broke then

    When I felt her hand
               Reach for my chest
And the heart she knew
                             Lay within"


Reaching out, touching the screen with my own tears...
this is pure poetry sir.
Once again, I thank you.

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
5 posted 2004-11-04 01:51 PM


I respond in a hushed veil of wonder at the subtle beauty and tenderness of this write and the grace of your words -

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
6 posted 2004-11-04 02:28 PM


"When I felt her hand
               Reach for my chest
And the heart she knew
                             Lay within"

Sometimes it's just a touch that becomes our undoing...

and she knew all along where his heart was.. even when he didn't.


"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

7 posted 2004-11-04 02:32 PM


you render me speechless Sir.

Bravo Bravo

Mxx

into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread.
~Sarah McLachlan~

scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
8 posted 2004-11-04 02:48 PM


To see images in one's mind and then find the right blend of words to give them description is indeed a gift.  Thank you for sharing your gift ron.

believe in what your heart feels...

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
9 posted 2004-11-04 02:53 PM


I dont know where your inspiration is coming from, but I hope it continues.

It's a pleasure to be reading you.

~smiling~
M

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
10 posted 2004-11-04 02:59 PM


as I read to her what I had written before

" Someday, I will understand perhaps that you
are deeper than this still pool inside me
and I will know what lies behind the silence of your eyes
as they scan places I have seen so many times before
with a wonderment of new
  and a sadness that I thought
                 only I knew"

My voice broke then

    When I felt her hand
               Reach for my chest
And the heart she knew
                             Lay within

Oh, yessssssssssssssss.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2004-11-04 03:52 PM



Oh dang...dang dangdangdangdang...

pull all the stops out...


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
12 posted 2004-11-04 06:02 PM


Ron

This is so very touching!  

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

13 posted 2004-11-04 06:23 PM


smiling from the shadows...



beautiful

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

14 posted 2004-11-04 07:06 PM



There
I turned the page and wrote:

"My own name does not belong among stars or across the bowl of sky."

then stopped and turned to a blank page to try again

" Beneath the skin of words written on these pages lies the beat of my heart. Something I denied."

and stopped
  closed the pages with care
as I turned to walk back to her who moves through me
and to her that would touch some part of me
I was afraid to show
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" Someday, I will understand perhaps that you
are deeper than this still pool inside me
and I will know what lies behind the silence of your eyes
as they scan places I have seen so many times before
with a wonderment of new
  and a sadness that I thought
                 only I knew"

My voice broke then

    When I felt her hand
               Reach for my chest
And the heart she knew
                             Lay within

===================================

she already knows....shes read your beautiful poetry.

*smiling at this title*

*TY*




~~~~~~~~

Poetry is emotion put into measure.
The emotion comes by nature ...
but the measure is acquired by art.

Thomas Hardy


Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
15 posted 2004-11-04 07:57 PM


OMG, this is exquisite.
And now *sigh* you touch the very core of passion's existence...adeptly uncovering with the fine flourish of a passionate pen...so many once-well-hidden fantasies, dreams, desires.
In other words, I'll be keepin this, thank you.

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
16 posted 2004-11-04 10:16 PM


Verse within verse witin verse.

Tell me, did you change your brand?

Because I'll have what you're having.
*smile*

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
17 posted 2004-11-08 12:21 PM


strikes a cord today...

cheers!

or is it, tiers?

~

myheart
Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 160
lost in your eyes
18 posted 2004-11-08 01:27 PM


exquisite write. so much enjoyed.  ~myheart~
Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
19 posted 2004-11-08 02:49 PM


This makes me want to go find a pool of water and stick my finger in it, yanno?  OMG, this was just so yummy.  

To quote bgwl - yup, You D'Man!

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

20 posted 2004-11-08 02:53 PM


Had to come back for another read, this one was so beautifully written....
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
21 posted 2004-11-08 03:00 PM


you never fail to impress...or p@## me off! why can't i #*$@&#* write like this...ahem..im okay..i'm in my happy place...breathe
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