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Open Poetry #34
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ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2004-11-04 07:21 AM


White curtains, tinged grey
Slender fingers brush aside,
Nothing there to see...
*
Winter sky and sidewalk empty,
Birds and children gone away.
.
.
.
Note:
For those of you that read my "autumn" tanka...
This is about the same woman that swept the leaves in that poem...She lives on a side street in my town, in the house she was born in, eighty some-odd years ago..

© Copyright 2004 ford hume - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2004-11-04 07:28 AM



Thought unseen, dark eyes
Look back on all yesterdays ~
Weary lines pave paths

History's definition
Is in the touch of her hands

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2004-11-04 07:44 AM


ice,
Well done, I've felt that many a morning.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2004-11-04 08:01 AM


nicely done sir..
you capture the bits of emotion in such short verse.. to be applauded

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
4 posted 2004-11-04 10:19 AM


Kewl - loved the note - loved the tanka-

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
5 posted 2004-11-04 10:25 AM


Both tankas had a profound effect on this reader. VERY moving. Your sensitivity is showing! ~ and you wear it very well.

Love & Light,
EA


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2004-11-04 08:28 PM



Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
7 posted 2004-11-04 08:58 PM


This is very special...so much enjoyed Ford.
Hugs~

Now while the leaves still dance on the wind
While the moon and the clouds come spinning
Will you whisper my name again?
Again..and again.

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
8 posted 2004-11-04 09:12 PM


­
­­Karilea
What a beautiful poetic reply, love it....
And thanks for the bump, jumping is fun....

See More
Thank you for reading...Hope you don't feel that way often...

CPat
Thank you..the "bits of emotion" in this poem comes from observation of my subject and belong to her..even if she does not know she was observed.

Susan
"loved" is a wonderful word to hear..
Than you...

E.A.
Love it when my words have effect....
Love and Light....also key words..
Thank you

Nancy
My subject is "special" without her I would not have a poem...
Thanks for reading....glad you enjoyed

­

Come read to me some poem,
Some simple and heartfelt lay,
That shall soothe this restless feeling
And banish the thoughts of day.
Longfellow

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
9 posted 2004-11-05 01:08 AM


From reading this one and the Autumn tanka, it is almost as if you are placing yourself within her and bringing to light her feelings, her sight, etc ... and really feeling it.  It shows in your words.  Well done.
froggy
Senior Member
since 2003-06-23
Posts 1893
Michigan
10 posted 2004-11-05 01:36 AM


Hello Ford,
  Love this tanka.
Your a wiz with writing about the seasons.

:-) from me to you


Within this heart you'll find love

J.Samm
Member
since 2004-01-12
Posts 415
Iloilo City, Philippines
11 posted 2004-11-05 04:08 AM


a good one here, short but says a lot
*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
12 posted 2004-11-05 06:13 PM


woah...loved this...short but gets so much through.

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*   My Journal
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

13 posted 2004-11-05 10:13 PM


on the inside looking out, the path cleared.

lovely.

Maree

into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread.
~Sarah McLachlan~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
14 posted 2004-11-05 10:18 PM


much enjoyed
INclan
Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024
Indiana, USA
15 posted 2004-11-11 10:31 AM


Well done.  Thank you also for the context.

INclan

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