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Open Poetry #34
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Day Two and Rain, Broken Eyes, and the Blue
| Open Poetry #34 |
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Day Two and Rain, Broken Eyes, and the Blue |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
It was close to noon the sun had failed to shine and rain threatened to follow the drip of fog we had waited in vain for to rise then ignore when her eyes shattered and she spoke to me about the things she saw when she looked off to the sky or into the water itself The lady Blue seemed still so I heard the words and watched scattered bits of crystallized soul leak from her eyes then pulled into a gravel bar found her a dry jacket put up the tent and went to scrounge up enough wood that I might build flames to keep her warm Later as she lay with her head against my chest I felt the rumble of far off thunder and knew somewhere there was lightning but placed my hand over your heart and listened instead to it beat against my palm such was the time I held her that darkness grew So I covered her with an extra sleeping bag and walked out to tend the fire watching light drops of rain swirl in nothing winds which breathed hesitantly first one way then the other as if searching themselves for someplace to rest Coffee, I decided at last and poured a cup as I sat down on a wet stone and began to write: "One day, when the reach of arms is long enough and the tender of heart is there, she may touch me of her own accord so I might feel the stir of flesh against my own and find her wrapping me inside her where children are born and we men seem to worship" I heard her stir and closed the page when I felt her touch my cheek she looked at me with eyes no longer broken "Could you love me?" she asked then turned and stood under the rain fly as she unbuttoned her shirt and let jeans slide down her hips .......................................... Later when the owl began to call I listened to her breathe and felt it move I felt it all And knew |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
oh gawd.... this IS perfection... and I am in awe.... The greatest beauty on earth, is |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
"Could you love me?" she asked then turned and stood under the rain fly as she unbuttoned her shirt and let jeans slide down her hips .......................................... Later when the owl began to call I listened to her breathe and felt it move I felt it all And knew ~*~ Yes... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
"Could you love me?" she asked then turned and stood under the rain fly as she unbuttoned her shirt and let jeans slide down her hips .......................................... Later when the owl began to call I listened to her breathe and felt it move I felt it all And knew" Shivers...you gave me shivers. LOL I love it...I love it...I looove it!!  Now while the leaves still dance on the wind |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Enjoying each installment... ~tier  |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ron Wonderful feel to these....the ending to this one was magical!  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
when her eyes shattered and she spoke to me about the things she saw when she looked off to the sky or into the water itself The lady Blue seemed still so I heard the words and watched scattered bits of crystallized soul leak from her eyes then pulled into a gravel bar found her a dry jacket put up the tent and went to scrounge up enough wood that I might build flames to keep her warm Later as she lay with her head against my chest I felt the rumble of far off thunder and knew somewhere there was lightning but placed my hand over your heart and listened instead to it beat against my palm such was the time I held her that darkness grew So I covered her with an extra sleeping bag and walked out to tend the fire watching light drops of rain swirl in nothing winds which breathed hesitantly first one way then the other as if searching themselves for someplace to rest ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "One day, when the reach of arms is long enough and the tender of heart is there, she may touch me of her own accord so I might feel the stir of flesh against my own and find her wrapping me inside her where children are born and we men seem to worship" ======================================= *big ole moth sigh* .... my oh my ................. I know that muse of yours is heaven and hell at the same time, and that sometimes writing from this deep is as much torture as it is high inspire...but I tell you what my friend... you do it so well that we wanna worship that muse...build alters...do moth sacrifices...(hehe)  in nothing winds which breathed hesitantly first one way then the other as if searching themselves for someplace to rest oh yeeessssss....  Poetry is emotion put into measure. |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Ron you do know how to harness the power of words to create a story and describe emotions. Wonderfully done!! believe in what your heart feels... |
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babygirlwlove Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180New York City |
damn chief, compelling, tender...so full of emotion... in awe, **babyblu** **Intoxicant to the SouL** |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"The lady Blue seemed still so I heard the words and watched scattered bits of crystallized soul leak from her eyes" "watching light drops of rain swirl in nothing winds which breathed hesitantly first one way then the other as if searching themselves for someplace to rest" You have captured an incredible mood here Ron ... breathtakingly descriptive. What a pleasure this was to read. I very much enjoyed the visuals this brought to light. Best wishes, /Kit |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"watched scattered bits of crystallized soul leak from her eyes" This is pure poetry. "but placed my hand over your heart and listened instead to it beat against my palm" and this..you knew I would feel that stanza..  I think it's time for a new binder..hint, hint."cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
OMG "One day, when the reach of arms is long enough and the tender of heart is there, she may touch me of her own accord so I might feel the stir of flesh against my own and find her wrapping me inside her where children are born and we men seem to worship" I hear ya mate...this was the greatest way I've ever heard a man's heart explain this Every single line was magnificant, and proves the author has one encouraging heart caring, tender, allowing I wish you love and she soon, turns around and looks you straight in the eyes, where she will immediately identify your passion for her welfare..... Wow! |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
C Pat If the story ended right there it should satisfy me..But what happend beyond this night, stirs my curiosity, just as a good poem should, making this reader beg for more.... enjoyed ----------ice/ford ><> Come read to me some poem, |
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NewEnglandlazurlu Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470A Mountain Paradise |
Ron .... you have left me breathless AND ... How I love your stories. hugs, Marti A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Sighhhhhhhh Jeez Ron, what are you doing to me! Just beautiful, simply beautiful. Mxx into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Ah heck I don't have to even say what I am thinking I don't think printed it. |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
WOW speachless My spirit will rise |
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