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soul drifter
Senior Member

since 2004-09-08

Posts 711
Colorado

0 posted 2004-10-27 01:46 PM

I'm Not Me

The whispers of November
the rust colored wind breaths into my ear
I put the red sun in a box high up on a shelf
to keep it for myself
through the spiraling snow
living in my heart, that faint glow
to save me from alienation
for all the brittle affection
I've been missing
I've been listening
to the winter sighing
with my cold pink ears, dying
for a hint of spring
for a hint of something
so real
and let me deal
let me deal with being all alone
let me seal my fate with methodone
and moonlight on my coffee
sitting here at 2 A.M., trying to see
who I am
because I can't be me
I'm not me
this isn't what I planned to be
silly feelings dragging me down
dragging me around downtown
losing in the gist of this song
lost in the mist of late autumn
scaring the hell out of me
I can't be me
no, I'm not me
not without you around
so come back around
I need to be me again
I need to see through the rain
I'm not me
maybe I'll never be
anymore
anymore
attach a meaning to my existance
I'm up for sale, so measure the distance
and let me know
let me know

"Poets are all who love, who feel great truths, and tell them; and the truth of truths is love." --Philip James Bailey

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

1 posted 2004-10-27 02:31 PM

Zach~
I just loved this sing-songy line ...

'I can't be me
no, I'm not me
not without you around'

... sounds like a perfect thought for a melancholy country song~
I can hear it~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

2 posted 2004-10-30 01:43 AM

Zach

never sell yourself short! this is wonderful!

~~*~~
Read between the lines
look deep into each word
and you will understand the
depth of my soul (GE)
~~**~~

exhale
Senior Member

since 2003-06-13

Posts 646
Alberta,Canada

3 posted 2004-10-30 04:04 PM

i thought this was beautiful transition through seasons and emotion,and maybe just everything in general. this feeling is something that pulses through everyones veins and you wrote it down perfectly.

dgvarner
Member Elite

since 2000-05-13

Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida

4 posted 2005-01-17 02:13 PM

I love the way you wrote this...I know someone who could truly relate.
enjoyed..

hugs, g

"Everybody just wants to get high...sit and watch a perfect world go by..." (T.McGraw)

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

5 posted 2005-01-17 02:16 PM

well done, a nice flow from season imagery to emotions and back again

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

6 posted 2005-01-17 09:19 PM

I know the feeling of having lost your identity because of a dramatic change in life and then wondering how you got to where you were and why you weren't where you thought you would be -

Felt this deeply - well written

Susan

If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . .

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

7 posted 2005-01-17 09:49 PM

yep...understood

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