The quicksand of Goodbye - pipTalk Forums

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Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

0 posted 2004-10-26 03:02 AM

I’m not yet overpowered
by the quicksand of goodbye
but halfway gripped
I’m still stuck
in yesterday’s avowal.

Perhaps a twitch here and there,
a struggle to be free,
or an exhaustive effort
to make a dream come true
but to no avail
and acceptance reigns,
temporarily.

Come the night,
the screams of fright,
the searching need for you,
and the wish for spirit hands
to uplift the dying me …
and I wait, pray, and drink
the water from my eyes.

The imaginings are rife
but mind cannot perceive
how a soul can die
from a mere goodbye
yet it is so, it happens slow,
it happens every day.

Going, going, going …
the quicksand of goodbye
up to my chin grinning
till into air my laugh rebounds
for no matter life or death
spirit love can’t say goodbye
or sink into the mire!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2004-10-26 05:34 AM

Here:

"and the wish for spirit hands
to uplift the dying me …
and I wait, pray, and drink
the water from my eyes."

you write my heart.

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

2 posted 2004-10-26 04:47 PM

I found the words hitting points.

It reminds me of Leonard Cohen singing that's no way to say goodbye.

Your hair upon the pillow
Like a sleepy golden storm

But the original words were written by Judy Felix I believe

Nevertheless it did remind me of a lot of memories and a lot with relief, I have to say when it went wrong and I was pleased to understand that eyes meeting across a crowded room have more to do with a second than hours

Dave

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

3 posted 2004-10-26 05:02 PM

"The imaginings are rife
but mind cannot perceive
how a soul can die
from a mere goodbye
yet it is so, it happens slow,
it happens every day."

Helen, this rocks.

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

4 posted 2004-10-26 05:10 PM

This is very very good poetry. You have
written the feel right into it...the use
of quicksand is so appropriate for the
stuck feel.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

5 posted 2004-10-26 11:48 PM

Helen

The whole poem is awesome, and touching to me, but this line:

"spirit love can’t say goodbye" is so very true.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

6 posted 2004-10-27 05:28 AM

a good write
love that ending

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