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Open Poetry #34
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exhale
Senior Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 646
Alberta,Canada

0 posted 2004-10-22 06:18 PM


your sitting there
right next to her
with a cloud over your eyes
she can't help but look at you,sigh
and marval at her invisability power
she could scream your name
and you'd think it was the school bell

you look like james dean
and you're the strong silent type
you yawn like your two
and she loves that

she closed the window to her heart years ago
but she'd open it for you
if only you could look at the clock
and give her the time of day


[This message has been edited by exhale (10-23-2004 09:26 PM).]

© Copyright 2004 Chelsea - All Rights Reserved
Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
1 posted 2004-10-22 09:33 PM


I liked the flow in this.
poe
Member
since 2004-09-06
Posts 180
Heading to China
2 posted 2004-10-22 09:38 PM


Very nice poem, the structure made it just that more powerful.

Tomorrow comes for those who fear it.
Today never ends for those who live it.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
3 posted 2004-10-24 12:36 PM


Enjoyed...James
*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
4 posted 2004-10-24 01:06 AM


Liked the last stanza - especailly the last two lines.
Enjoyed..keep posting chelsea.

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*   My Journal
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

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