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Passions in Poetry

Amputee

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Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 10-12-2004
Posts 6334
Waukegan


0 posted 10-20-2004 09:27 PM       View Profile for Huan Yi   Email Huan Yi   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Huan Yi

Amputee


Incongruent
with your face,
an otherwise fair poem,
a bad last verse.

Monster tongs
that metal from your wrist
frighten children about their future.

Near you
I think how fortunate,
your curse,
like chalk on slate,
forewarns a nascent interest.

All the love,
let alone my own,
will not move the center of your world
from the glint of steel
that clicks atop
your bag of groceries.

I see things
more warily
than when I was young;
unwilling
to go to war
for a nation,
a woman.

Silent,
oblivious
but to being in the open,
with your iron
you leave.
My moment's passion
goes through the door refrained.

Avoiding the hurt,
I walk to my car,
already beginning
forgetting you,

the look of your face,
feeling wise,

and, in a small corner
of who I was,

ashamed.


© Copyright 2004 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


1 posted 10-20-2004 10:46 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

I, too, see things more warily than when I was young.

You took a simple moment and turned it into character definition.

Very thoughtful, and the implied politic is handled gracefully methinks.

Nice work John. Enjoyed this glimpse, however painful.
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


2 posted 10-21-2004 12:13 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

It is usually easy to walk away, but what is left inside may change what you do next time.

I enjoyed the introspective feel to this and the thoughts it left me with...thank you.
J.Samm
Member
since 01-12-2004
Posts 417
Iloilo City, Philippines


3 posted 10-21-2004 12:38 AM       View Profile for J.Samm   Email J.Samm   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit J.Samm's Home Page   View IP for J.Samm

the look of your face,
feeling wise,

and, in a small corner
of who I was,

ashamed

I love the powerful contrast here...a poignant write

Juju
Member Elite
since 12-29-2003
Posts 3353
In your dreams


4 posted 10-21-2004 04:35 PM       View Profile for Juju   Email Juju   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Juju's Home Page   View IP for Juju

I liked this poem.
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 06-05-2001
Posts 12075


5 posted 10-21-2004 06:48 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

nicely done sir.. nicely done indeed
Drauntz
Member Elite
since 03-16-2007
Posts 2907
Los Angeles California


6 posted 05-14-2007 11:39 PM       View Profile for Drauntz   Email Drauntz   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Drauntz

are you talking about yourself? Did you get wounded in the Viet-war? I hope not. Well I can only hope that this is just your poetic poem.

wish you well.
 
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