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Passions in Poetry

Inanimate

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muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 01-15-2004
Posts 3021
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving


0 posted 10-18-2004 11:19 AM       View Profile for muted   Email muted   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for muted


Inanimate
```````````

that Lonesome dance
across a myriad of chalk lines
souls strewn askew
gutter deep
the agony breaking
the traffic's symphony

sleep, sleep
down where the silence seeps
and the angels creep
between cracks in pavement

like weeds

wicked things that steal the air
and suffocate the needs
of those left dying there

concrete heartbeat
fading
eroding away


leaving me as empty space
evidence
that I existed

maybe

a little less that way

© Copyright 2004 Dawn van Krieken-Smith - All Rights Reserved
Gentle Spirit
Member Laureate
since 10-09-2000
Posts 14329


1 posted 10-18-2004 11:29 AM       View Profile for Gentle Spirit   Email Gentle Spirit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Gentle Spirit

OH Dawn, I feel every word of this....
you have painted this picture so well and captured the sadness.
Very very well done gal...

The greatest beauty on earth, is
found in the hearts of those
who love....

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


2 posted 10-18-2004 11:30 AM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

Dawn, from a poetic perspective I very much enjoyed reading your words, but from a personal one, it saddened me. If this poem is a reflection of how you yourself feel at this time, I truly am sorry. I have missed your poetry and warm presence.

You are a lovely poetess both on the inside and out.

Loving, comforting hugs,
EA
P.S. Anyone who can write as beautifully as you do, is most definitely animate.
muted
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Member Elite
since 01-15-2004
Posts 3021
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving


3 posted 10-18-2004 11:38 AM       View Profile for muted   Email muted   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for muted

you both are so sweetly recieved..thank you so much.

this poem is part of a series,
feelings that are bursting forth every now and again...
i hadnt announced, but i was in a bad car accident a couple of months ago...and i have written from that "place"....
im physically and emotionally still  healing.

so dont worry too much...
its part of that process

but its settling and comforting to know, you all are so supportive regardless of cause.
babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 10-10-2004
Posts 1184
New York City


4 posted 10-18-2004 12:05 PM       View Profile for babygirlwlove   Email babygirlwlove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for babygirlwlove

deeply moving sorrow...

**babygirL**
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


5 posted 10-18-2004 12:07 PM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

Hi ya sweet aussie...beautifully sad write here gal..hope you're doing well..
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 08-14-2001
Posts 37801
Somewhere in time~


6 posted 10-18-2004 12:13 PM       View Profile for Enchantress   Email Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enchantress

Ah sweetie...I had wondered where you were.
I do hope you are healing emotionally and physically now.
~Sending healing hugs your way~

~Autumn..the year's last, loveliest smile.~

wranx
Member Elite
since 06-07-2002
Posts 3778
Moved from a shack to a barn


7 posted 10-18-2004 12:14 PM       View Profile for wranx   Email wranx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wranx

I had hoped that you would be feeling better.
But this, it seems, is a very strong step forward in the healing.

And for reanimation, though "lifeless", you never are!

Hugs
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 06-19-2003
Posts 13093
SE PA


8 posted 10-18-2004 01:02 PM       View Profile for LeeJ   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LeeJ

your words become a brilliance for others to be guided by...to know in a world of despair, there is a poetess who shines like a gem in the night sky.

Very well done...sending hugs and smiles to rest by your side.
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 06-05-2001
Posts 12075


9 posted 10-18-2004 01:48 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

wicked things that steal the air
and suffocate the needs
of those left dying there
bravo ma'am... bravo
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


10 posted 10-18-2004 01:57 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Ron picked them - they ache and do it well!  Great piece that I saved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


11 posted 10-18-2004 01:59 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Amazing, how writing is a healer
in several ways...

well done, dear.
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 12-27-2002
Posts 8464
Florida


12 posted 10-18-2004 02:02 PM       View Profile for Susan Caldwell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Susan Caldwell



you rock!!

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


13 posted 10-18-2004 04:34 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

sleep, sleep
down where the silence seeps
and the angels creep
between cracks in pavement

like weeds

wicked things that steal the air
and suffocate the needs
of those left dying there


I felt every word.



Mxx

and I am haunted
by my illicit exquisite dream
but I can't really wake up
so I just drift in between

~ani difranco~

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


14 posted 10-18-2004 05:16 PM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

God, Dawn -
this sings:

sleep, sleep
down where the silence seeps
and the angels creep
between cracks in pavement

like weeds

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 11-18-2002
Posts 7451
the ass-end of space


15 posted 10-18-2004 09:56 PM       View Profile for Aenimal   Email Aenimal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aenimal

you've put me in a difficult place, desperately trying to figure out which i l@ve more, the poem or the new pic   nice to see you're tapping into this place rather than hiding from it, hugs
MovesInSilence
Member
since 03-21-2004
Posts 111
Perth, Australia


16 posted 10-19-2004 04:05 AM       View Profile for MovesInSilence   Email MovesInSilence   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit MovesInSilence's Home Page   View IP for MovesInSilence

Right beside you in this one buddy.
oh wait i was umm hmmm..next time your driving

This poem is perfectly written, i can only hope that some of your talent will rub off on me.

It's not the blindfold that blinds you,
it's the person that puts it there.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


17 posted 10-19-2004 05:28 AM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

a passionately sad write
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 06-05-2001
Posts 12075


18 posted 11-05-2004 04:49 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

wicked things that steal the air
and suffocate the needs
of those left dying there


these lines still grab me...

well done mS silent one..
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