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Open Poetry #33
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Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095


0 posted 2004-10-05 09:27 PM


absentia

so still this vermilion morn
save for the flight of gulls
flapping by me
erratically
i sit at my breakfast bar  
i have my cohhffee
and look out to the shore

and feel the waves
creep in then out
silently
in tease of me

and how quiet it is
without you here


(behind this window)

as i lose myself in words
and look for nothing
but flesh and kisses




cuz fate is not just whose cooking smells good
but which way the wind blows

~ani difranco~


[This message has been edited by Dark Angel (10-07-2004 09:21 AM).]

© Copyright 2004 Dark Angel - All Rights Reserved
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
1 posted 2004-10-05 09:30 PM


Maree

Sounds like a lovely place to have coffee and to make a poem or two....You have a view that I would have if I could.  But anywhere can be lonely, can't it?.  

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
2 posted 2004-10-05 10:33 PM


and how quiet it is
without you here

And that's all that really matters, isn't it? *S* Everything looks/sounds/is different. *S*

I like this very much! *S*

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
3 posted 2004-10-05 11:23 PM


Even in absentia, this coffee tastes great Darksis!
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
4 posted 2004-10-06 12:31 PM


Done this afew times myself...James
Kevo
Member
since 2004-06-02
Posts 466
Navarro County, Texas, USA
5 posted 2004-10-06 04:02 AM


Maree,

Have your written anything that hasn't amazed me?  Nope!  This one was a well-crafted keeper.  The imagery was fantastic.  I can smell the salt in the air (even if it is 4 or so hours away).  I love to read your writing...try to catch them all.  There is just something difficult to explain that I like about your writing.  I suppose evocative, assertive, gritty, eloquent, cinematic...they all fit.  Another tasty treat!  BTW, Being alone sucks but not as bad as being in a broken relationship.  Keep the chin up.  You deserve nothing but high-roads.

Big K

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
6 posted 2004-10-06 09:08 AM


My God, I just saw you sitting there . . .
and it is getting colder, the waves larger, but slower, somehow . . . and your coffee steamed, as you sipped, your lips were berry . . . and you looked quite sad Maree . . . longing.   Excuse me if I am rambling, this image shot right into my head as soon as I read.

That window . . . a large picture to the water made you feel this way.

What an amazing poetess to be able to write thoughts into my mind.  This is what you do.  

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

7 posted 2004-10-06 04:40 PM


Hi all, Thank you m'friends for your lovely thoughts and replies.

Yes everything did look, sound and feel different that morning.

Oh and Sue? please post it?

Thanks again you beautiful people.

Maree  


cuz fate is not just whose cooking smells good
but which way the wind blows

~ani difranco~

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
8 posted 2004-10-06 09:42 PM


Maree...wow, I can't help but be amazed at how your poetic talents keep growing and growing and I often wonder if you really know just how good you are? Great write
Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
9 posted 2004-10-06 09:55 PM


I'll have a venti dark roast please ( and a few of those kisses   )

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

10 posted 2004-10-07 02:42 AM


ah now, if you look closely? you just might see a dinghy adrift!

(Don't mind me, luscious, I'm just swimming sideways in the aquarium of late.)

Like watching you watch through a porthole, this is a lovely sight to behold, however wistful.

and you did it again!


Alan
Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499
right next door
11 posted 2004-10-07 05:53 AM


Sounds like a wonderful place to be alone if one should be alone. Wonderful writing, I enjoyed it much.
Alan

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
12 posted 2004-10-07 08:10 AM


now is she could just hit replay
and lock it in
to forever?

enjoyed it ms maree

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

13 posted 2004-10-07 08:15 AM


Maree the entire time I was reading this I could see the beauty and feel the sadness..
your images were outstanding, and your poignancy made me want to send you a hug.

And I agree with Hoot Owl...
you just keep getting better and better...

The greatest beauty on earth, is
found in the hearts of those
who love....

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
14 posted 2004-10-07 01:43 PM


My lips have grown cold now
as the waves roll their last sigh,
left upon my lips, once berry
once kissed
by you . . .

I pull the shade from this sight
my life
pouring into a cup
which is not mine to hold
yet I drink
of you once more
and replace the blush
upon these lips
and retreat to a quiet reverie

safe within my blankets.


Thanks Maree

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
15 posted 2004-10-07 01:59 PM


"and how quiet it is
without you here"


yes.  

quiet.

Well done.

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

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