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Open Poetry #33
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littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York

0 posted 2004-10-04 08:28 PM



Autumn's chilled breath as my shroud,
I pulled my collar closer to my neck,
watching the clouds dance
across the last blue sky I shall see this season.

Craning my neck, ever so slightly
to the right, then the left,
I sighed.

No one is out tonight.

Dampness herself was creeping
up the backs of my thighs,
my toes already numbed.

This is when I saw it.

The leviathan.

The most beautiful sight I can remember.

And it just stood there for me.
As if the Great Goddess herself
decided that I needed a smile.

And I did.

Smile, that is.
Then stepped into my doorway,
now lit by the onset of night.

A grin still plastered upon my face.  

© Copyright 2004 Sue Eckam - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2004-10-04 09:01 PM


this is one of those, that make me want to yell out, "keep the story going!" don't stop there.... like it...
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2004-10-04 09:32 PM


Love this!  Fantastic write..
and Susan is right...there should be more!!!
Hugs~

~Autumn..the year's last, loveliest smile.~

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
3 posted 2004-10-04 10:26 PM


I thought I saw Leviathan once but it turned out to be my reflection, time to diet..

this material is gold, gold

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
4 posted 2004-10-04 11:01 PM


Smile, that is.
Then stepped into my doorway,
now lit by the onset of night.

we goddesses do have a way of doing that, don't we?
smiling with you

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
5 posted 2004-10-05 08:25 AM


aww Sea thank you so much ( there is no more *yikes!)

Nancy, thank you so much.

Raph, make that two of us, I expect to see myself in that Ripleys Musuem soon.
*grin* Thank you

Why yes we do. Michele, thank you.

Thanks guys.  

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
6 posted 2004-10-05 05:14 PM


The most beautiful sight I can remember.

And through your words... you let us see, too. *S* Thank you for this! *S*

Robert Frazier
Senior Member
since 2003-02-06
Posts 1014

7 posted 2004-10-05 05:28 PM


I agree with Sea, I did not want this one to end on such an early line.  Please pick it up sometime, and carry us further along the enchanting journey!

Hugs, Rf

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
8 posted 2004-10-05 11:28 PM


A fine day for playing "what am I?" with clouds.

Yep...A fine fat beasty of a cloud!

and so lite on his feet too! lol

Goldenrose
Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665

9 posted 2004-10-06 07:36 AM


Writing on your sights and sounds are always worth reading Sue...thank you..

Goldenrose.

The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved. Victor Hugo.

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

10 posted 2004-10-06 07:51 AM


Bravo.....this was a marvelous study and conclusion of accepting a gift which was given to you especially...and for whatever reason, you accepted and allowed...

Tremendous virtue you own, hugs...loved this emensely...gosh darn wish I could spell...hehehehe

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
11 posted 2004-10-06 08:58 AM


Thank you suthern so much

Thanks Robert, a story, eh?

Ed *smile* it sure was, i was going to write you off it, but you wrote your own!

Thank you Phil, that was sweet.

Lee?  Thank you . .  I did accept it, gladly.

Thanks guys.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

12 posted 2004-10-06 01:33 PM


Sue I get the feeling anytime you step outside we will be blessed with more....

yep, I just get that feeling...
the words are in you
and when they come out?

PURE MAGIC!!!!!!!  

The greatest beauty on earth, is
found in the hearts of those
who love....

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
13 posted 2004-10-07 09:21 AM


"And it just stood there for me.
As if the Great Goddess herself
decided that I needed a smile."

Don't we all!

Beautiful!!!!

James_A_Fraser
Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines
14 posted 2004-10-07 10:14 PM


In my book cirrus beats stratus any old day....those may have more water in them, but flat gray sucks after a while.



~~J

garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
15 posted 2004-10-07 10:29 PM


Hello, LittleOne  
Thanks for making me feel what you saw.
Beautiful.
Hugs,
Ethel

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

16 posted 2004-10-08 04:12 AM


Knowing you and how you are lovely sue, this is an enticing visual:

"Craning my neck, ever so slightly
to the right, then the left,
I sighed.

No one is out tonight."

Remember Rickie Lee Jones?

Her first album?

Dig deep and find an acapella called "Eight Bars Before Midnight"

"All the gang, has gone home
I'm standing on the corner, all alone.
You and me, streetlight,
we'll paint the town gray"

smiling...I cannot find the lyrics to this well worth the dig elusive track either.

"Say goodnight, America
all the world still loves a dreamer..."

*tossing roses at you* Cirrus gazer

and I wish I had this song to send.

Rickie Lee...check her out. k?

Massive star burning here, they match twins.
http://www.londonstudent.org.uk/3issue/music/rleejones.htm

Hugs m'lady.



littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
17 posted 2004-10-08 01:15 PM


Thank you Donna, that was so sweet of you to say, I tend to write about nature a lot.
It soothes me.

Yes! Icey . . . thank you so much for that.

Now James, you had me on a google cloud search after your reply  *smile*  I was thinking, My God did I use the right type of cloud!
Thank you  

Hey Ethel, long time, no read.  
I miss you . . . you are most welcome
thank you.

K,

you know I am searching for that tune right now . . . (thank you for your words, so very sweet).  

Cirrus gazer . . . I like that . . .

and after reading that link, thank you for that btw, you mean to tell me Sheryl Crow didnt actually WRITE that tune that made her so famous (dont get me started) but did a cover of Rickie? (grrr)

You, m'Lady are lovely yourself . . .

Thanks guys and thank you K for always seeing what I see.

eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys
18 posted 2004-10-08 06:07 PM


you have a lot of beautiful imagery in this poem, i like the personification of the elements too.  i really got into this poem, such perfect timing too...

Awake through motion with curiosity to curtain your first move
Over arms length they'll break protocol
Jealous envy for the youngest one

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise
19 posted 2004-10-08 07:36 PM


This is just wonderful  ....  gosh, I feel like others, wish there was more.

hugs and smiles, Marti

A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows.
–St. Francis of Assisi

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
20 posted 2004-10-09 12:03 PM


a starchilled smile
up in
Lake Bison

sweet

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
21 posted 2004-10-09 07:49 PM


Well, dear Sue, that smile of yours indeed makes you a true lover of the beauty you behold.
I know that smile.
Cirrus is fascinating, up there and in your poem.

Love and hugs.
Margherita

aujussy wolf
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215
Michigan
22 posted 2004-10-10 02:27 PM


lw ....
cool write lilwing ,
i had the goosebumps reading it lol,
your awesome babe
hugs : )
, James

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

23 posted 2004-10-10 04:01 PM


Cool imagery here Sue. I look forward to reading more by you

Maree

cuz fate is not just whose cooking smells good
but which way the wind blows

~ani difranco~

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
24 posted 2004-10-11 04:46 PM


Thanks Matt! Where have you been?

aww Marti, thank you - I wish there were more too, I could make a lotta moolah doing that *smile*

Yes, Bri (Lake Bison), you nut!
Thank you

Margherita, nothing is more beautiful than your words . . . thank you

Thanks James . .  I gave YOU the goosebumps??? That's something new . . .
*grin*

Thank you so much Maree, truly

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