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Open Poetry #33
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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2004-10-03 09:35 AM



goldfish is pale
moon in bag of gray water
autumn whispers

_______
Dark

© Copyright 2004 ©Dark 2k - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2004-10-03 09:39 AM


"moon in bag of gray water"
I like this line...cause it makes me think of rain...  

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
2 posted 2004-10-03 11:40 AM


DS

This made me think of the little goldfish in plastic bags I used to win as a kid at amusement parks....usually they were belly up by the time I got them home.  Just a few words brought quite a picture and feeling...kind of cold and sad.  

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
3 posted 2004-10-03 02:37 PM


Tis not the blue in the water missing but the stealth of Autumn calming the bright of play to bring us back to mode of eool down after months of work out in heated display.

Wonderful words sir.

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
4 posted 2004-10-03 02:40 PM


In the moon he is pale, then in the Sun his gold shines again ...

matching the colors of Autumn.

A nightly vision well rendered.

Love, Margherita

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
5 posted 2004-10-03 03:51 PM


I would that the burn of the summer moon should linger - guess i should relocate?  Yet my gaze lingers at the leaves transitions, and the first touch of snow is like delicacy on tongue - let's just get rid of January, February and half of March -

  Susan

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

6 posted 2004-10-03 05:10 PM


Absolutely wonderful imagery MrD.

M

cuz fate is not just whose cooking smells good
but which way the wind blows

~ani difranco~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2004-10-03 05:17 PM


neat write
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
8 posted 2004-10-03 09:24 PM



Foggy highs lower
pale fish gathering Pisces
moon shadows stories

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
9 posted 2004-10-06 08:51 PM


a night for shadows to cross paths
cool write

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