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Open Poetry #33
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Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

0 posted 2004-10-02 09:11 PM


she forces seasons

an autumn of sleeping dogs
a howling of oval mouths

seething heart,

i no longer mourn
the moons that fall between us

still,

driftwood combs the shore
and in my breast a watermark

where she and promises broke

© Maree Russo & Raphael Giuffrida

© Copyright 2004 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2004-10-02 09:18 PM


"i no longer mourn
the moons that fall between us

still,"


oh this is fantastic you two! lovin it...

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
2 posted 2004-10-02 09:55 PM


This is the most beautiful writing I have seen, joined, in a very long time.

The both of you must write more often together .  . . this is flawless.

A stinging beauty . . .

coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077

3 posted 2004-10-02 10:04 PM


A very fine write.

I enjoyed the combined talent.

CB 8)

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
4 posted 2004-10-02 11:26 PM


i no longer mourn
the moons that fall between us
*******************************************

o to be able to not count those moons any more
very tight, very right write...yes!!!

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
5 posted 2004-10-02 11:55 PM


This is like listening to a soft echo across the miles, across the oceans, a duet of hearts in harmony underneath the same moon.
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
6 posted 2004-10-03 05:04 AM


i no longer mourn
the moons that fall between us

still,

driftwood combs the shore
and in my breast a watermark



A wonderful co-creation!

Bentornato Raffaele!

Love, Margherita

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2004-10-03 05:31 AM


awesome!
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
8 posted 2004-10-03 12:27 PM


Maree and Raph

I Enjoyed the emotive pull of this poem...great duet!!  

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
9 posted 2004-10-03 02:50 PM


Thanks everyone, and of course a special thanks to Maree for her patience with my temperamental muse.
Copperbell
Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956

10 posted 2004-10-03 03:22 PM


I really enjoyed this - I love the visuals you used - you two did a great job!
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

11 posted 2004-10-03 05:02 PM


Thanks everyone for your kind replies, and Bells? thank you for putting up with my set-in-her-ways muse LOL.

Me love to du-et with you again

cuz fate is not just whose cooking smells good
but which way the wind blows

~ani difranco~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

12 posted 2004-10-03 06:12 PM


This just overwhelming sadness and yet somehow there is an underlying tone of "no regrets."

You two duet beautifully.

Thanks for letting me watch.


James_A_Fraser
Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines
13 posted 2004-10-03 10:40 PM


Powerful stuff....when two of PIP's strongest voices combine, it's going to be what they call a poetic experience!



~~J

pandonov
Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 478
b/w conscience and insolence
14 posted 2004-10-04 06:28 AM


great work both of you
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
15 posted 2004-10-04 11:21 AM


Painfully beautiful.

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

16 posted 2004-10-04 04:00 PM


how lovely
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
17 posted 2004-10-04 04:49 PM


I knew this would be a good mix... and I wasn't disappointed! *S* Well done! *S*
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
18 posted 2004-10-04 05:04 PM



Stand up and take a bow for a very fine collaborative effort! Impressive!

EA

muted
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Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
19 posted 2004-10-04 10:48 PM


HUGE APPLAUSE

you guys are awesome!!!!!!

keeping this
and hugging both of you

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

20 posted 2004-10-05 10:55 AM


she forces seasons

an autumn of sleeping dogs
a howling of oval mouths

~~~

i no longer mourn
the moons that fall between us

~~~~~

driftwood combs the shore
and in my breast a watermark

where she and promises broke

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh man.......
you guys........
this is the coolest poem....
I read it the other day and have come back to it several times....
the imagery and personification rocks...
the succinct impact of its emote is awesome...
you knew just what to say..and just when to let it be enough said.

this is a IWIHWT!!!!!
DUET again... many times...pleeeeeze  

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
21 posted 2004-10-05 02:48 PM


Thanks again everyone, and yes i look forward to writing with maree again, as soon as I remember how to write
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

22 posted 2004-10-12 04:56 PM


Hey Bello,

I'vve got my thinking caps on..(back to front perhaps) lol

Sheesh, it's very loud and mumbled in there, (maree slaps head)

looking forward to it Bells

cuz fate is not just whose cooking smells good
but which way the wind blows

~ani difranco~

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
23 posted 2004-10-12 11:44 PM


Very nice!

Cohesive

and

Complete.

I could read another one.

babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City
24 posted 2004-10-13 01:44 PM


excellent collab...seamless...lovley...

**babygirL**

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

25 posted 2004-10-13 02:03 PM


so sad...but well done duet
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

26 posted 2004-10-13 03:00 PM


poignantly beautiful duet you two!  Excellent job.

The greatest beauty on earth, is
found in the hearts of those
who love....

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
27 posted 2004-10-13 11:14 PM


splendid write


muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
28 posted 2004-10-17 11:21 PM


yeah
back for more

greedy me

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
29 posted 2004-10-18 08:42 AM


me too, for those of us that have not seen such beauty.
Elan
Member
since 2002-05-03
Posts 382
State of Wide Eye
30 posted 2004-10-18 08:43 AM


driftwood combs the shore
and in my breast a watermark

where she and promises broke

~*~

absolutely seamless...

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
31 posted 2004-10-18 11:08 AM


nice duet
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
32 posted 2004-10-18 11:20 AM


This really was excellent yall....good job..
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