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Open Poetry #33
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E S West
Member
since 2004-08-31
Posts 116
California

0 posted 2004-09-29 08:57 PM


Well here is a real sestina, hopefully...


On an endless black sea, through time we sail.
Upon a tiny speck of dust we dwell.
Sailing eternity on unknown course.
By design or chance, knowing naught the source.
From the time man walked and began to think,
The fountain of knowledge we've sought to drink.

How far we've come, but still thirst for that drink.
Our voyage now gaining speed at full sail.
Into an era of great strides, I think.
The more we learn, on more questions we dwell,
Bringing more answers, draining knowledges source.
So setting our journey upon straight course.

Now leaping and bounding down our new course,
With incredible thirst, knowledge we drink.
Probing and seeking out any new source.
Into an exciting new time we sail.
In our hearts, minds, and souls, new hopes dwell.
As mankind learns, as one, we must think.

Endless wonders are in our reach, just think.
Throughout all, a new energy does course.
In our minds, a new awareness does dwell.
Thus bringing more to the fountain, to drink.
More hands heaving too, to run up more sail.
As strong winds now fill sails from minds source.

Our thirst is eternal, as is the source.
As is the time in which we have to think.
With endless cosmic seas for us to sail.
New knowledge to be found on each new course.
From the countless new fountains, we shall drink.
On greater and grander things, we shall dwell.

One day in man, the truth of love will dwell.
Understanding and compassion, the source.
He will seek out others and share his drink.
Of how to help all who need, he will think.
Sending him out upon a new course.
With a new purpose and pride he will sail.

From knowledge we'll drink, on questions we'll dwell.
Forever to sail, seeking out the source.
Minds endlessly think, on mans endless course.


"always be true to SELF, and follow your heart.."
" Ignorance is the root of all evil "

© Copyright 2004 Eric Shawn West - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2004-09-29 09:28 PM


I'm not familiar with that format enough to even know whether or not it is a sestina. But I do know I like this write very, very much, and find it offers much to think about.
In other words, I'm keeping it in my library.

Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
2 posted 2004-09-30 06:33 PM


Bravo E S, I believe you have tamed the monster.  

I look forward to seeing your next submissions.

Linda

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
3 posted 2004-09-30 06:55 PM


sounds good to me~~~

M

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
4 posted 2004-09-30 07:22 PM


What a wonderful job you did with this!
The content was clear and crisp, and in all honesty, the form is a bit rigid for my liking...yet you carved a beautiful picture here.

Impressive Poet!
TD

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
5 posted 2004-09-30 07:44 PM


There is a debate regarding the Sestina's form. The 6 stanza pattern (123456-615243-364125-532614-451362-246531) Michael posted earlier is indeed the universal form. However, the closing tercet pattern seems to be a source of contention.

Some use a closing pattern of (6/3)(1/4)(5/3). But in researching i've found that the pattern of (2/5)(4/3)(6/1) is the most common. This article states the same and yet one of the poems mentioned, Elizabeth Bishop's 'Sestina', has yet another tercet formation of (6 5)(2 4)(3 1)!!
http://www.writing-world.com/poetry/schimel4.shtml

Whatever you choose, you have my admiration because there seems to be no contention that Sestinas are a pain in the butt

E S West
Member
since 2004-08-31
Posts 116
California
6 posted 2004-09-30 09:31 PM


Thanking you all once again... all your words are much appreciated.....

As to for, I too noticed the variation in the last three lines... seems it doesnt really matter that much....

As to writing these, Now that I have worked through a couple variations, I find them not that difficult, I have another that I have to do a final check on before I post... With this one, all 6 final words rhyme...which made it interesting to write..

Will post that soon... Thanks all. E S West

"always be true to SELF, and follow your heart.."
" Ignorance is the root of all evil "

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