One of my Fable Stories - pipTalk Forums

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DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

0 posted 2004-09-28 11:19 AM

It is based on the idea of conflict attacking everything to win - still a draft idea

Dave

A hut with few lights
A beam running a length
A blackness by a door
A silence gnaw by gnaw

A darkness silhouette
Circling on the floor
Eyes gleaming yellow
Fangs seeking more

Foot on the table
Demands in the air
Nothing can stop me
Not even your precious heir

The dance of my dreams
From which you never woke
In your eyes my life
And for you no hope

For within you I live
And when the blackness comes
You have become my mother
And I my father's hope

On a mountain
Hillside
On a rough life
Millside

Bloodshed like a book
On your hide asking questions
A trouble to no soul
In your heart

You landed lightly in her arms
And if I may make so bold
The world the Lady offers
Is boon to any soul

And gentle pastures beckon
Before you are very old
So pay in kind, in fear, with your life
Pay with thanks

Pay my man
The burden is light
For a heart as yours
We don't need blight

If we needed your heart
Then we would join
In a contract for your mind
But your heart
O do be kind

Water was trickling a murky brown
When I saw you coming on down
Smile like ear going for ear
Saw you smile and I said over ere

I said me luv
Your a sight for sore eyes
Be a right nana
I let you by

I'd raise me (h)at
For you any day
Tellme darling
You go'ing away

You're a cracker by me
Bout any day
You'll seek me
And then you'll pay

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

1 posted 2004-09-28 12:00 PM

Dear Dave, enjoyed this write .... bittersweet.
Love, Margherita

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

2 posted 2004-09-28 12:13 PM

Thanks but it needs a lot of work.

I published it to make me concentrate and expand.

I have even blurred the sexes because I not thinking on the right levels for the interaction.

Dave

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

3 posted 2004-09-28 12:14 PM

Dave,
I've been reading your work for about a year now. This is so different in style of any I have read of yours. I like it. I can identify with it, perhaps, a little more. But the extreme mystery in some of your other poetry is nice,too. (Don't misunderstand, this has a little mystery,too.)

miscellanea

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

4 posted 2004-09-28 12:18 PM

Yes, Dave, the gender! You can see to that by editing.
Love, Margherita

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

5 posted 2004-09-28 12:24 PM

Thanks for reading me all that time

I try to write on current things, or society, on romance but I still like to let my mind explore, like some child, the gentle nasty bits and I am not very good at following rules of peotry because I suppose the words matter more to me but almost like someone in front of a whiteboard, I acknowledge the old RX, TX and noise idea, and that maybe drives my structure and words more than anything.

Thanks once again

Dave

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

6 posted 2004-09-28 12:29 PM

Margherita

I didn't mean that you couldn't see the gender but the point, gently made is taken.

I was thinking of the fact that I still hadn't worked out what gender was being addressed and the deeper meanings of the earth, trees, mother bit and what twisted piece of logic I was considering.

Love Dave

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