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Open Poetry #33
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soul drifter
Senior Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 711
Colorado

0 posted 2004-09-24 09:22 PM


Brace

You say it’s in my hands
our survival of our emotions
you say we’d last forever
if I’d only let us
but your hand and mine
are entwined in this time
that we called perfection
haven’t we learned our lesson?
when all this is over
and the dusty tears have settled
I’ll always be looking for you
in the shadows of my dreaming
in every word and its meaning
you’re the sunlight on my face
now against the wind I brace

You say it’s up to me to end this
end it all on a silent, sad note
neat and cold, the words you wrote
beaten and sold and I’m up for sale
I’ve been replaced, set sail
but now that this is over
and emotionless goodbyes
exchanged between cold eyes
that once burned with lightning
that once blessed us, brightening
our beautifully full faces
but now against the storm
this sad face braces

There are endless waves of sound
waves of grief drowning me now
reasons we had to part
reasons curse my art
and I wonder where you are
and I wonder how far
you can go without me on your mind
without me in the shivering night
without me when you fall
and you will fall
but so will we all
now the nightmares of an old flame
distant eyes, and I don’t feel the same
I hope you’re sleeping peacefully
you deserve so much more than me
I thought I was the right thing for you
I knew somehow you were right for me
now I’m just quitting the race
fell down on my face
now this all seems such a waste
daydreams I court and chase
but I’ll keep you inside me
for your memory frees me
from all the love I brace


"Poets are all who love, who feel great truths, and tell them; and the truth of truths is love." --Philip James Bailey

[This message has been edited by soul drifter (09-25-2004 04:21 PM).]

© Copyright 2004 Zach Hilgefort - All Rights Reserved
Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
1 posted 2004-09-25 07:01 AM


Ouch.  This is so sad, the sense of loss and regret yet perhaps some confusion-

my only suggestions is this line

"but so will us all"

I wonder if "we" would read easier.

Well poured out emotion-

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279

2 posted 2004-09-25 07:31 AM


Hey soul drifter. This is one big ouch! I remember this feeling. The endless circle of questions without answers when my ex and I were divorced. Through poetry I found release. Mayhap this megium can bring thee too a small measure of comfort...remember though eventually we all move on...and this hurt is but a passing thing.

Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2004-09-25 09:36 AM


I understand
soul drifter
Senior Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 711
Colorado
4 posted 2004-09-25 03:19 PM


Thanks all for the comments, and thanks Susan, I might reword that indeed... it does flow better to my mind. And hey, I'm okay; I wrote this over a year ago, when someone I had an unrequited love for decided to not be around anymore. That's how the cookie doth crumble at times...

"Poets are all who love, who feel great truths, and tell them; and the truth of truths is love." --Philip James Bailey

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