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Open Poetry #33
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Soleil Noir
Senior Member
since 2001-12-19
Posts 688
USA

0 posted 2004-09-21 02:08 PM



Casting sounds

There’s a flick sound snap heard in fly-fishing,
Rainbow trout hear the swish of it and know
Dinner is ready, or perhaps,
Breakfast is coming…

Never lunch…for enough deep water buffers whish
And who would drink the beers
If not the nooners…and

I see you across this lake of mind
But I see you most everywhere you aren’t
Because I have this garden of thought
And you tend it well…leaving behind

Your touch, which was
Much like that of the casting sounds
Of a flick snap felt swish ~ and
When you fish for me in your dreams, I feel you
Wondering if my eyes will return to you
In reflection’s pond,
Where green meets with sunlight
And brown/gold fish play
In rippling memories swell.

It is autumn now…soon snow prints
will show my dreams
that you found your way back.

And we will talk of those things
That we have cast for, and the one love that
Didn’t get away.


© Copyright 2004 Soleil Noir - All Rights Reserved
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
1 posted 2004-09-21 03:02 PM


It is autumn now…soon snow prints
will show my dreams
that you found your way back.

And we will talk of those things
That we have cast for, and the one love that
Didn’t get away.


tied your words up in a bow~

M

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

2 posted 2004-09-21 03:05 PM


I'm a lover of fly fishing, the art, the symetry, and in your words, you have managed to reinterate the love for the art of love...wonderful
DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

3 posted 2004-09-21 03:13 PM


I found this sad.
It was almost a cast off of an old love that we enjoyed and then found lacking.

The words, image are excellent but the cast off I had trouble with.

Dave

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

4 posted 2004-09-21 05:30 PM


Mmm this is beautiful, absolutely.

Enjoyed

Maree

Well I see you doing, What I try to do for me, With the words from a poet, And a voice from a choir, And a melody, nothing else matters. ~Stevie Nicks

kayjay
Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015
Oregon
5 posted 2004-09-21 05:58 PM


What a wonderful series of images for lovers.
Well done.  Ken

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2004-09-21 10:21 PM


Excellent Soleil...
I love this...very nicely written indeed.
Hugs~

~Autumn..the year's last, loveliest smile.~

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

7 posted 2004-09-21 10:53 PM


SN
The words you write always touch me,
and speak to me of a time, sometime,
in my life. You cause me to feel, again.

K

RMW
Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424

8 posted 2004-09-23 12:08 PM


Nicely ... cast.
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
9 posted 2004-09-23 01:08 PM


"When you fish for me in your dreams, I feel you"
keep those dreams on your line

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
10 posted 2004-09-23 01:16 PM


Wondering if my eyes will return to you
In reflection’s pond,
Where green meets with sunlight
And brown/gold fish play
In rippling memories swell.


My favorite part, but I loved the whole poem.

Love, Margherita

Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

11 posted 2004-09-23 01:55 PM


Wow....so captivating!

Eric

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
12 posted 2004-09-23 08:44 PM


autumn has a way of inspiring!
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
13 posted 2004-09-23 11:36 PM


I see you across this lake of mind
But I see you most everywhere you aren’t
Because I have this garden of thought
And you tend it well…leaving behind

Your touch, which was
"Much like that of the casting sounds
Of a flick snap felt swish ~ and
When you fish for me in your dreams, I feel you
Wondering if my eyes will return to you
In reflection’s pond,
Where green meets with sunlight
And brown/gold fish play
In rippling memories swell."

Oh, this is soooo good!  I really, really like it; it's unique,romantic....wonderful!   ....jo

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