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Open Poetry #33
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2004-09-20 05:20 AM


We

a pronoun meaning us

the people

let's just make that clear

We the people

not dogs or such
nor mammals of intelligence
dolphins and the platypus
but no, the people
just like us

in order

order makes the trust

to form
(to make more perfect than?)
a union formed by minuteman
a marriage that was better than
the one we failed before.

(can I type those words again?)

a union that was better than

history granted us in whims
  of kings and rings
    democracy

a perfect union, but more so.

I'm baffled by the endlessness
of what it all implies.

This implies there was one less.
That implies there could be more.
How much perfect more could be
than words they chose as creed?

I see.

Or am I too persnickety
regarding English of the Queen
limiting the dream concede
by mere propriety

I think

I hold that sacred
promises

that I will try
my hand at thus

"establish Justice"

--retrospect.

insure
the trust

I genuflect
at ballgames
hand on heart
attest
swearing I will make a start
of a new me born again

if only we can win, please, God.


Fireworks and confetti
sure can make a mess of things
of finances
and tangledness
of doctors,
lawyers, injun chiefs...

domestic

meaning home or tame--the game?
Or does it  mean the same
lame nod of the cow at graze--
have I grown fat or am I crazed
from gazing at the other side
of the fence,

it's just as green.

tranquility

or a drugged haze
of instant grati-vacation
and neighbors
are a nice tall fence
nod hello as self defense
'cause we don't wanna piss them off
and open cans of worms we can't
begin to even count.

provide!

a word I understand
a mammoth mammary of gland
that suckles all insistancy
of the greed of you and me
and the offspring of us all

for the common

same?

defense

of what?
are we afraid?

defense

implies an offense
(do we lack?)
damn--I never felt a slap
of the glove
of gentleman
but what do I know
finances?
as I drink the wine
sustained
provided by this majesty
if sometimes slight
imagined. See?
Are we just bored with what we be?
Or do we just want more?

let's see...

Promote

emote
and wave the flag
by God I love it too
I do
I've had enough of burning hues
red is blood
and white is blue
burning to her purity
stars
I see
the whore in me
licking whey
from ladle
saved
by government in subsidy
dying poor
too fat for grave
they burn us by the pound
and sound
the trumpets
of the lessons vexed

the general welfare...

I guess
it's where I'm most confused
and I'm left battered
by the truth
tell me what this means to you
for surely it bemuses me --
Which one of you can I believe?

secure

(OH yes--just vote for me.)

the blessings of (our)

Liberty

(define it please)

to ourselves

(and all? I grieve)

and do I

dare

posterity?

What does that mean?

to ordain

(who called us blessed?)
and who said
thatKoresh
was NOT?

(i protested by my tv.)

The same that nailed
the Christ to cross?

I'm asking...tell me,
what it cost
ashes ashes
dust to dust
and prophets
just become the stuff
written in the scrolls of sand
deemed holy when another man
says it shall be so as they
wipe the tears of war away
finely with a sable brush
after years of grief? They say:

"and establish"

written then
for a world
that had this whim
of a dream of freedom cry

and

this constitution

lies

begging for renewal of
the purity
of blood of dove
written in the ink that dries:

Tell them that they did not fight

for us

to just

become like them...

legalizing parliament


somewhere
inbetween the stars
held together
by the blue:

Tell me that the words are true

establish

this

the constitute

shun the strength

our absolute

for the United

(that is us)

States

(oh pray)

America.


I need to believe again.

"We the people"

open gates

"We the people"

unafraid

offer refuge

from the hate

"We the people"

aren't too late

to make this what it's meant

to be...


WE

I do believe that's us.

The people

constitutioned-less?


[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (09-21-2004 04:54 AM).]

© Copyright 2004 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

1 posted 2004-09-20 07:02 AM


the ripple effect...something we should all always and forever keep in mind...
You have done a marvelous job here, written from a heart who cares so deeply about our future...thank you

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
2 posted 2004-09-20 07:13 AM


OMG
Stomping my feet and applauding..stomp-clap-stomp!
Brilliant writing, enjoyed immensely, how its rhythm
matches the theme, and how well its poetry has been distilled from the huge vessel of words that could have been said about the subject...This needs to be read aloud and with patriotic fervor by everyone..

---------------ice
  ><>


Come read to me some poem,
Some simple and heartfelt lay,
That shall soothe this restless feeling
And banish the thoughts of day.
Longfellow

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2004-09-20 07:31 AM


I'll be back...not only to read, but to help keep THIS on at the TOP!

Brava Lady...

is your brain swimming?  Your heart SHOULD be...with EMOTION!

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

4 posted 2004-09-20 08:31 AM


WOW,oh Wow, you are positively incredible..I could cry...I'll say again, you ARE Poetica!

M'lady

Keeping this.

Mxx

Well I see you doing, What I try to do for me, With the words from a poet, And a voice from a choir, And a melody, nothing else matters. ~Stevie Nicks

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

5 posted 2004-09-20 09:03 AM



PERFECTION

The greatest beauty on earth, is
found in the hearts of those
who love....

Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635

6 posted 2004-09-20 09:11 AM


It is not easy to take an established set of words, and question them so distinctly, individually, inner- and retrospectively...

but what you have done here,

is bring the WE/US forward to cheer, that we can, indeed, do what you just did...

perhaps not as eloquently and decisively...but it is still our choice to inspect, decide, stand, and deliver...

Well done my friend!

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
7 posted 2004-09-20 11:37 AM


enjoyed
kayjay
Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015
Oregon
8 posted 2004-09-20 12:57 PM


This is wonderful!  It is such a creative way to take words we've known all our lives and consider what those words really mean.
Well done.  Ken

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
9 posted 2004-09-20 01:21 PM


Fabulous!!  
Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

10 posted 2004-09-20 01:35 PM


K,
What can I say?
If there is poetry in truth, then there is poetry in lies.
You stir my cauldron of despair here.
And I fear the pendulum of power has not finished its fearsome period.
Enjoyed this cascade, nevertheless.

e

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
11 posted 2004-09-20 02:52 PM


*smile*
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
12 posted 2004-09-20 03:00 PM


I thought I was in for a treat when I read the title... before I was even close to being through, I was hoping you'd take on each and every amendment. *S*

Excellent work!!

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
13 posted 2004-09-20 03:11 PM


God K . . . the way you bring it all together is profound:

stars
I see
the whore in me
licking whey
from ladle
saved
by government in subsidy
dying poor
too fat for grave
they burn us by the pound
and sound
the trumpets
of the lessons vexed

the general welfare...


nice placement, Lady

I mean that in every sense . . .


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

14 posted 2004-09-20 04:52 PM




I can launch myself into quite a little tirade sometimes, can't I?

thanks for reading, and most especially for understanding my frustration, here.

Love to you all.

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
15 posted 2004-09-20 06:36 PM


Ya come up for air yet?

Good lord m'witch!

Said as well as it can be, it seems. But I carved out this wee bit

"I'm baffled by the endlessness
of what it all implies."

A beauty, Karen


miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
16 posted 2004-09-20 06:46 PM


Serenity,
  What a poem, what questions, what answers!
Your mind shines, Karen!

        miscellanea
                    

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
17 posted 2004-09-20 11:49 PM


Howl
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
18 posted 2004-09-21 12:04 PM


:calapping: when I stop clapping my hands and spinning around...
THIS is a masterpiece, Karen, and I think your should stomp your socio-political feet more often.
*shaking my head in awe and admiration*
I need to know exactly how to spell your last name lady, yanno, they DO verify all those write-ins.
We, the people...
indeed.
KEEPER KEEPER KEEPER

Rdz9
Member
since 2003-03-16
Posts 142
MT, USA
19 posted 2004-09-21 02:51 AM


Definitely... amazing. Enjoyed, and appreciated. Well done.
-Rdz

One in a sea of millions has the power to change the world...

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
20 posted 2004-09-21 03:52 AM


I almost always like your hobby horse, and especially this one. Excellent, you tell 'em girl!

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
21 posted 2004-09-21 12:40 PM


Ya know? Awful as it sounds...but I know you will take it in the SPIRIT it is meant...if you were Prez...they'd assasinate you...write on sister!!!!!!!!!
NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise
22 posted 2004-09-21 12:51 PM


This is a spectacular write and I have read and re-read several times. I hung on every single word.

You tell 'em and you go girl!

FABULOUS!!  

Hugs and smiles, Marti  

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
                    -Elayne Boosler-

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise
23 posted 2004-09-21 12:57 PM


I forgot to save this ..... Marti

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
                    -Elayne Boosler-

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
24 posted 2004-09-21 03:41 PM


Now that was a trip! and a great one.
Mr_Brady's_Housekeeper
New Member
since 2004-09-06
Posts 8

25 posted 2004-09-21 06:00 PM


Fantastic! there's so much to ponder here.

I wish I could write something like this.

Alice


Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
26 posted 2004-09-21 10:03 PM


prefect

i mean perfect

yeh

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
27 posted 2004-09-22 01:43 AM



Wow...

Yep... just wow...

Always amazed by you... smile...

"When the power of love overcomes the love
of power the world will know peace."
--Jimi Hendrix

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

28 posted 2004-09-22 02:32 PM


And I, the person, thank you all very much for your generosity.


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