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Open Poetry #33
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jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298


0 posted 2004-09-07 10:10 AM


Crystal Alamo


Ringed by the enemy’s presence,
the onslaught, comprehensive;
a retreat in order, she scuttled
for cover.

Ill fitting, the confines quickly realized
repeated abrasions, but injuries presented
a necessary expenditure were she to remain
tightly enclosed, perimeters safely secured
from within.

Contained by this self seethed fortification,
she thought herself safeguarded,
but rage spewed betrayal
at every opportunity.

The strain of securing her viewpoint,
clearly confirmed by the crumbling
foundation, a downfall was now imminent.

Detached from the destiny of
the casualties, she carried
no white flag with her.

The backdrop echoed with jump
jump jump, while caring bystander’s
begged her exit
but refusal was her Alamo.  


© Copyright 2004 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2004-09-07 10:31 AM


The strain of securing her viewpoint,
clearly confirmed by the crumbling
foundation, a downfall was now imminent.

~*~

Sometimes we don't realize that
when standing so strong, for so long,
our foundation begins to crumble...

just as you say.  Some shoring up is required,
but that doesn't come until we let others know
we cannot do it all by ourselves...



Your honesty is not only admirable...
would that more know how to be like you.

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

2 posted 2004-09-07 10:47 AM


well lady, this “Alamo” has been my strength and my downfall, and just when I thought I was writing this from the point of being past it, I find myself looking at the situation from the inside……but at least this time my eyes are open, and I have help *smile*
miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
3 posted 2004-09-07 11:03 AM


jellybeans,
   You are an incredible writer, maintaining such depth through your analogy!  In awe, I found myself reading this several times, each time feeling more.
                      miscellanea

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2004-09-07 11:05 AM


Fantastic write JB...
sending heart hugs your way.

~ Summer can't be over...
I still have the sand in my shoes. ~

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2004-09-07 12:31 PM


incredible
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

6 posted 2004-09-07 01:04 PM


I've said it more times then not, our alamo is our fortress and of God, but can sometimes be a lonely walk...if we so chose to follow...along with all of life, there is always a tradeoff
Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

7 posted 2004-09-07 01:29 PM


hugs my friend...


jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

8 posted 2004-09-07 02:16 PM


thank you all, this one wanted written but insisted on having its own way, I must have scrapped 4 or 5 'beginnings' .....smile, thank you again
msflame
Member
since 2002-05-21
Posts 188

9 posted 2004-09-07 11:17 PM


Excellent poem!  
MGROVES
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since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802
california
10 posted 2004-09-07 11:21 PM


fantanstic


suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
11 posted 2004-09-08 01:50 PM


she thought herself safeguarded,
but rage spewed betrayal
at every opportunity.

Just remember, my friend... a battle lost doesn't mean the war is over... or that victory won't be yours. *S*

Excellent work!!!

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