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Open Poetry #33
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Goldenrose
Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665


0 posted 2004-09-06 06:49 AM


Deep, gutteral, they call
from within their chests or
throats, unmistakeable echoing
in tall shaded trees.

Rounded clones, each
with markings in the same
places, wide beady eyes
alert to gun or predator.

Bursting from branches, the
clap of wings, then strong
straight flight. Eating their
fill in numbers, quickly, in corn fields.

Big, powerful birds, grey
with white patches and
rose pink iridescence
Birds of quiet solitude.

[This message has been edited by Goldenrose (09-06-2004 07:21 AM).]

© Copyright 2004 P.D - All Rights Reserved
ShiningWindHaze
Member
since 2004-09-06
Posts 138
California, United States
1 posted 2004-09-06 07:15 AM


I am respecting your work by critiquing what I feel is important. Iridescence. Pidgeons. Not to be all Mr. correct, Cause I'm not. I liked the poem alot. Very Imaginative. ^_^

Goldenrose
Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665

2 posted 2004-09-06 07:22 AM


Thank you for the correction..it is duly corrected...Goldenrose.

The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved. Victor Hugo.

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
3 posted 2004-09-06 10:18 AM


Well done -- reading this, I can absolutely see them....

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
4 posted 2004-09-06 09:18 PM


From careful observation comes some very good poetry...the birds are painted well on my mind...
enjoyed
--------ice
  ><>

Come read to me some poem,
Some simple and heartfelt lay,
That shall soothe this restless feeling
And banish the thoughts of day.
Longfellow

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
5 posted 2004-09-06 10:39 PM


I always enjoy your poetry! ~ On nature, romance, saving the environment... You always grab my attention and keep it to the end ~ and beyond! I have many images still in my mind from poems of yours that I have had the pleasure of reading!

Love & Light,
Linda

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