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Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2004-09-04 01:51 PM

{From the Note-Book Series-
My Journals of Endless Winter}

~~**~~
He was one of those rare  gifts
     born on the edge of silence

I wanted to ask if he knew me:

or found my whispers a comfort

if he spoke fondly of love

or how the earth would be still tonight

         my hands  empty --  imagining him

somewhere between earth and dreams

and does he know the true smell

of lavender

     would he laugh if I said "the sea

was sultry"

...

Night rises     like red wine --
reflections will kiss the hillsides
as the moon leans into the water

and I

can almost  hear  him breathe

I wanted to ask  if he misses me too,
           but he's gone --

&I never had the chance to say goodbye

I don’t want the world to see me
cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken I just want you to know who I am

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2004-09-04 02:05 PM

damn

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

2 posted 2004-09-04 02:10 PM

Hey there Dixie~
thank you for the response, and wanted to say too...I am keeping you close in thoughts as the storm passes over....I hope you are safely outta harms way....

hugssss ~

I don’t want the world to see me
cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken I just want you to know who I am

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

3 posted 2004-09-04 03:26 PM

Greeneyes...this was BEAUTIFUL. Your descriptions are magical and so romantic. *hugs* ......jo

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2004-09-04 05:05 PM

I wanted to ask if he knew me:

or found my whispers a comfort

if he spoke fondly of love

or how the earth would be still tonight

my hands empty -- imagining him

somewhere between earth and dreams

and does he know the true smell

of lavender

would he laugh if I said "the sea

was sultry"

Oh, WOW.....
I always, always come away amazed at what you do to ordinary language...

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

5 posted 2004-09-04 05:11 PM

Lauren, I won't even begin to try and point out my favouite lines...this is incredible writing!!
You should be published!
Love ya lady~

~ Summer can't be over...
I still have sand in my shoes. ~

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

6 posted 2004-09-04 06:13 PM

oh my goodness....
*sigh*
this is just so gorgeous...
I'm keeping this

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

7 posted 2004-09-04 07:36 PM

Now you know...respond a little quicker next time and write one called "I ask him."...James

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

8 posted 2004-09-04 10:42 PM

Oh Lauren I know the pain of this.
But I can't help wonder how important it was to him?

Love this beauty, and the way you write your heart so tenderly.
Hugging you close, sweet one~

Robert Joseph
Member

since 2000-10-07

Posts 491
South Carolina

9 posted 2004-09-28 05:54 PM

Such yearning, folds the reader into the moment. Lovely work.

Robert Joseph

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

10 posted 2004-09-28 06:11 PM

Whao Lauren, loved every line.

it's a

Maree

Well I see you doing, What I try to do for me, With the words from a poet, And a voice from a choir, And a melody, nothing else matters. ~Stevie Nicks

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

11 posted 2004-09-28 06:37 PM

and I'll bet you did this without Taaka too.

You shine wistfully sweet, Graceful Lauren.

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