navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #33 » Drifting Woulds (a nakdthoughts/GS duet)
Open Poetry #33
Post A Reply Post New Topic Drifting Woulds (a nakdthoughts/GS duet) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989


0 posted 2004-08-31 01:46 PM




Drifting Woulds

Somedays a feeling washes over me
And with it the drifting of the smiles I use to see
When sand between our toes,
walking together thoughts in know
becomes the treasured wood


The coming of the changing seasons
makes me stop to ask the reasons
the what's and why's of
the who am I's.

Somedays the memories of those times
that seem to capture my true in rhyme
are placed to float upon the blue
that shares my warmth, the before of you
resting in angled form on shelf

I am drifting on the shoreline
with the ebb and flow of tide
while I try to determine
what is in this heart of mine...


Common lines positioned so
though biased view from inner glow,
the blending of, those times when seasons held
the touch of mist, the salty splash of ocean's swell
to cool the heat of loving's know

Sands of time flow around me
with visions of what is yet to be
wandering, with no certain direction;
waiting for the one true, special connection

So I shall drift upon these oceans
with my thoughts of evermore
until gently I should come to rest
as driftwood does upon the shore.


{thank you M~ for such a delightful pleasure!!}


© Copyright 2004 dmsmith - All Rights Reserved
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
1 posted 2004-08-31 02:22 PM


I can feel the gritty walk
As I listen to the gentle talk
Scanning the rolling sea
Just to look and see
The leaves leaving the trees
Changing season on a breeze
Colored memories of spring
Tinted in cool back they bring
Catching the constructed rhyme
Of another place and time.
What wood drifts on shore
Long floating found land once more
How many wave did the wood ride
To find this beach at high tide
And when the ebbing shows
Will it go with receding flows
Treasured wood in the see
Grounded brief from floating free

Gloom

well done you two
enjoyed

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
2 posted 2004-08-31 02:33 PM


Hi Donna,

I absolutely LOVED

Common lines positioned so
though biased view from inner glow,
the blending of, those times when seasons held
the touch of mist, the salty splash of ocean's swell
to cool the heat of loving's know
Corinne

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
3 posted 2004-08-31 02:59 PM


This is beautiful, both of you
this stanza is amazing:

The coming of the changing seasons
makes me stop to ask the reasons
the what's and why's of
the who am I's.

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
4 posted 2004-08-31 05:34 PM


Very nicely done ladies...you write very well
together.  don't stop now!!!

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
5 posted 2004-08-31 05:53 PM


quote:
I am drifting on the shoreline
with the ebb and flow of tide
while I try to determine
what is in this heart of mine...


couldn't get past that line this read
so I'll be back later

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2004-08-31 06:38 PM


Now here are some gently spirited naked thoughts that meld so VERY well, that I cannot, nor would want, to separate the stanzas.

What a wonderful pairing.  Please, please, do it again soon!

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2004-08-31 07:10 PM


Ladies~
I sit here in quiet admiration for the beautiful weaving of your thoughts~
Well done ... well done~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

8 posted 2004-08-31 07:22 PM


I thank you all so very much for your kind replies. I love doing the duets and wish we would see more on the boards! I believe it is a wonderful way to stretch our creativity and expand our poetic knowledge!

M~ my thanks to you for making this such a wonderful duet, and making it as unique as you are. Thank you m'friend!

Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
9 posted 2004-08-31 08:29 PM


stunning! lovely this

hugsss x2

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone though you're still with me
I've been alone all along..Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
10 posted 2004-08-31 08:43 PM


Perhaps it is my meloncholy this evening, but I find this write bittersweet.  Beautiful in its compilation, but wistful in its wandering of the self.  Very well written.

  Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
11 posted 2004-09-01 09:06 AM


Donna, remind me to pick up a piece of driftwood the next time I go to the ocean...
would sit nicely alongside this poem.

Thanks for joining words with me, always a pleasure

And thank you everyone for your responses

M

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
12 posted 2004-09-01 10:23 AM


Beautiful !!! Hugs, Chris

"At one glance
I love you
With a thousand hearts."


— Mihri Hatun, Turkish poet

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
13 posted 2004-09-01 12:29 PM


what a beauty
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

14 posted 2004-09-01 12:40 PM


how utterly lovely....this was soooo like sailing into the unknown, yet knowing someone was waiting there on the other side...
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

15 posted 2004-09-01 01:01 PM


Ladies, thank you so very much.  

M~ thanks! Yes, driftwood would make for a perfect graphic with this post!

E S West
Member
since 2004-08-31
Posts 116
California
16 posted 2004-09-01 01:22 PM


What a great team effort..
wonderfully expressed... don't stop..

             E S West

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
17 posted 2004-09-01 01:24 PM


Thank you Eric, are you enjoying yourself yet?


M

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #33 » Drifting Woulds (a nakdthoughts/GS duet)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary