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Open Poetry #33
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~K~
Member
since 2004-07-27
Posts 148


0 posted 2004-08-29 05:31 AM



I was there
a cascade failure
suffering
delirious

I am here
a happy pause
a silent voice
invisible

I was then
a walking bomb
a fractured core
impossible

I am now
a traveler
by stretching
the imagination

© Copyright 2004 ~K~ - All Rights Reserved
Kristabell
Senior Member
since 2003-11-29
Posts 678
Portland, OR
1 posted 2004-08-29 05:53 AM


Very interesting. Great job!!!
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2004-08-29 06:29 AM


my my my...

there's a lot going on here...I love the construct, and the four stanzas of course brought to mind four seasons and natural transition, lending value to your theme with the balances of meter and the power of your word choices (most notably the first stanza, but not exclusive).

This is very, very nice. Much enjoyed.

(can ya tell? )

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2004-08-29 06:32 AM


and a perfect title too.

*keeping this*

thanks!


~K~
Member
since 2004-07-27
Posts 148

4 posted 2004-08-29 06:56 AM


Thank you both So much! (And how did you know I was wondering about the title!?
I'm so glad you liked it.

muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
5 posted 2004-08-29 07:06 AM



serenity is on to something there LOL

enjoyed this! we are all travellers here...the world is so accessible through language, text, photographs....so wonderful to communicate across the expanse.

so wonderful to have "some" place to hide and explore all at the same time.


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2004-08-29 09:01 AM


I like serenity's interpretation...

I like the poem, period.

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
7 posted 2004-08-29 09:20 AM


Enjoyed this --

  Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
8 posted 2004-08-29 03:02 PM


that's awesome!
msflame
Member
since 2002-05-21
Posts 188

9 posted 2004-08-29 03:29 PM


Yes, yes, be a travelin' woman, I have a poem about that. I love your piece. Strong.
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
10 posted 2004-08-29 03:53 PM


"stretching
the imagination"
yes, yes, yes
nice exercise

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