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Open Poetry #33
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Annie Shadow
Junior Member
since 2004-05-02
Posts 27
Drifting

0 posted 2004-08-27 10:57 PM


Who's the doctor?
Who's the queen?
Watch your step
You've come between
The brilliant patterns of your eyes
The obvious, the small suprise
The moment that I realize
Hmmm...I need you again

Who's the killer?
Who's the king?
Watch the sun
Blind everything
The wonders of your smooth, sweet touch
Makes me miss your love so much
Use my heartache as a crutch
Hmmm...I need you again

Who's the villian?
Who's the rose?
Watch me fall
That's what you chose
The melting feeling from your heart
Takes my hand and then we start
To fix the bonds we've pulled apart
Hmmm...I need you again

Oh...
And you...
You know it, too

You need me every now and then
So...Baby,
Here we go...
Here we go again


© Copyright 2004 Annie S - All Rights Reserved
Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
1 posted 2004-08-28 12:17 PM


I liked the feel and flow of this.

  Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2004-08-28 01:33 PM


Annie~
I like the sing-songy chant of this~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
3 posted 2004-08-28 07:27 PM


enjoyed
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
4 posted 2004-08-29 01:11 AM


Annie - I don't think I've read your work before -- welcome to PIP.  I really liked the rhythm of this poem a lot.   ....jo
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2004-08-29 02:57 AM


yes...I like this
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