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Open Poetry #33
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gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

0 posted 2004-08-25 08:08 PM




She's leaving home

to keep
bedroom tears
and photographs
under her old bed

because,

she's still crying you know?

A tapestry of your times
hung from continuous walls
strains her eyes

almost every day

despite every which way
she takes them down

unpicking the finer silks
of iris

that never has the strength
to deny you

one-more-look

It's never goodbye
only
see you soon


She hopes
to burn your words

the coarse ropes

that execute

every hope
of leaving you
permanantely

among old
useless foundations
.
.
.
.

Please, bear with me guys, I'm having such a hard time writing nowadays.


© Copyright 2004 gj - All Rights Reserved
Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
1 posted 2004-08-25 08:12 PM


Nothing to bear, for this is good.  Keep writing -- I'll keep reading

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

2 posted 2004-08-25 08:14 PM


"It's never goodbye
only
see you soon"

Wish I didn't understand this so well....


GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
3 posted 2004-08-25 08:42 PM


Sure doesn't look to me like you're having a hard time.
This is excellent!
It aches, though...
and I wish you the best.

Always, Alyssa

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
                  Joyce kilmer

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
4 posted 2004-08-25 09:53 PM


some things just can't be left behind

I love this, and your writing seems fine to me.

All of my impurities are right here on my sleeve. This is Me"---Faith Hill


msflame
Member
since 2002-05-21
Posts 188

5 posted 2004-08-25 10:03 PM


Powerful and bare bones sorrow-
most effective.

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
6 posted 2004-08-25 10:19 PM


there is nothing wrong with your writing at all my dear...wonderful as always...helen
Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
7 posted 2004-08-26 12:32 PM


I don't see anything wrong with it, either, but I know how you feel.

Writing has left me for the most part, but I'm glad you've kept up with it.


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
8 posted 2004-08-26 04:19 AM


no, it's never goodbye
Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

9 posted 2004-08-26 02:40 PM


Your words always strike so deep.

Eric

aujussy wolf
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215
Michigan
10 posted 2004-08-26 02:46 PM


one-more-look

It's never goodbye
only
see you soon

She hopes
to burn your words

.
..
...good stuff gem ,heart felt ,  love it
~jw

choshi
Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184
New York
11 posted 2004-08-26 02:49 PM


Just keep writing, and writing, and writing....  ~P
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
12 posted 2004-08-26 02:57 PM


keep writing within this silken thread, this lifeline rope to Pips

it's an umbilical safety cord, my friend

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
13 posted 2004-08-27 09:05 PM


good read
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