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Open Poetry #33
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Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2004-08-24 06:12 PM


I glanced through half lit window
where neon from the hotel sign
cast tetra colors on the wall
and listened to the words play music
as they ran across the back of my mind
  trying to remember how they sounded
coming from some other lips than my own
and how they held anything
the spaces between did not let drain away

and knew I would settle for even a lie
that I might believe
                        if for only
a moment
               in pretend

then turned and let the curtain

fall

Act II
          can now begin

with thanks to Muted... for her offering and its inspire...

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (08-25-2004 08:55 AM).]

© Copyright 2004 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2004-08-24 06:49 PM


I glanced through half lit window
where neon from the hotel sign
cast tetra colors on the wall
and listened to the words play music
as they ran across the back of my mind
  trying to remember how they sounded
coming form some other lips than my own
and how they held anything
the spaces between did not let drain away


and knew I would settle for even a lie
that I might believe
                        if for only
a moment
               in pretend
================================


lesser gods? perhaps...
but never lesser poetry...not from you pen...
not ever....

msflame
Member
since 2002-05-21
Posts 188

2 posted 2004-08-24 06:53 PM


Enjoyed the read and the form. Nicely done, the title is VERY cool.
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

3 posted 2004-08-24 07:18 PM


and knew I would settle for even a lie
that I might believe
                        if for only
a moment
               in pretend


How very cool is this? WAY COOL.  Really enjoyed this one Cpat!

Midnitesun
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Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
4 posted 2004-08-24 07:53 PM


I love the way muted's write inspired yours.
They are very different, but both writes have great punch.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2004-08-24 08:02 PM


Ron

It's wonderful when one who inspires so many, is inspired himself!  

muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
6 posted 2004-08-24 08:17 PM


*sigh*
yes
right there
is where the feeling lingers......
You found it, and made it your own..

Ron, this one hurts like hell.

a pleasure and honour to know you, but you know that....

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2004-08-24 08:23 PM




Kudos to both of you.

Sigh.

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
8 posted 2004-08-24 08:30 PM


There is a word I've been searching for which I cannot find that describes the feeling of this to me, ah well, "I enjoyed it's voice" is going to have to suffice.

  Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
9 posted 2004-08-24 10:26 PM


Nice...very nice!

Been there, Done that...Went back and did it again!

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

10 posted 2004-08-24 11:13 PM


I read Dawn's post earlier and when I read this, well...it works.  I always enjoy your voice, sometimes more than others and this was a sweet inspiration...  

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
11 posted 2004-08-25 07:15 AM


Love it when the formless chemicals of two minds mix When two completely different elements of brain tissue are touched by philosophic alchemy, and what comes out is gold (as is this poem....)
enjoyed
-------ice  
  ><>

Come read to me some poem,
Some simple and heartfelt lay,
That shall soothe this restless feeling
And banish the thoughts of day.
Longfellow

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

12 posted 2004-08-25 07:36 AM


brought back a very tender rememberance for me...lovely write and it couldn't be said any better then Ice has done...pure magic, pure gold.  Dreamy write!
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

13 posted 2004-08-25 08:38 AM


ah.. thanks to all for the nice words..
they are appreciated

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