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Open Poetry #33
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Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989


0 posted 2004-08-24 10:57 AM





Ready to take flight
learning, yearning, stretching wings
a spirit in soar.



   In weakness falter,
   grow stronger every day
   flying in blue skies.


Willing to take risks
yet aware, might come the fall
burn of moth to flame.


   Like mighty phoenix
   arising from the ashes.
   Fly high, butterfly.





It's better than I could have planned..
it's made me who I am...
{Trace Adkins}



[This message has been edited by Gentle Spirit (08-24-2004 11:49 AM).]

© Copyright 2004 dmsmith - All Rights Reserved
Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
1 posted 2004-08-24 11:00 AM


Oh yes, indeed...you have captured it with beauty and skill...the vision is perfect....I love it...

msflame
Member
since 2002-05-21
Posts 188

2 posted 2004-08-24 11:11 AM


You've captured freedom, which in itself is a marvelous gift for the readers.  Since you are open to critique, may I offer a more present tense delivered, i.e. "she soars" and so forth, simply to bring the reader even more into this.

Very lovely. The title drew me in as I am a candle collector of all kinds, hence my screen name.  Thanks again for a fine read this morning.

Mon Cherie
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922
Land of Never-ending Summers
3 posted 2004-08-24 11:16 AM


This is so beautiful... From a daring moth to a beautiful butterfly. Everyone grows stronger through the mistakes that we make, just like the little moth...

_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

4 posted 2004-08-24 11:18 AM


Karen, thank you so much for that!  I appreciate your thoughts....

Msflame, thank you for stopping by. Nice to meet you.   Thank you for the critique, I am always open to suggestion....

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

5 posted 2004-08-24 11:18 AM


Mon Cherie, you snuck in there on me, thanks so much for that!
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2004-08-24 12:32 PM


Donna, this is awesome!
Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
7 posted 2004-08-24 02:45 PM


Like it Donna, very inspirational and hope filled.  Thanks for the up-lift.

  Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

8 posted 2004-08-24 02:47 PM


nicely done ma'am
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
9 posted 2004-08-24 03:22 PM


a beautiful lofty write

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
10 posted 2004-08-24 03:27 PM


take the risk butterfly
fly
fly
flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
11 posted 2004-08-24 03:42 PM






(does happy dance) Yay! Oh Donna, you know how much I love butterflies and moths, yay! (smiles) They are one of my favorite creations of God, along with children and dolphins, yay, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Donna, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

12 posted 2004-08-24 05:58 PM


hey girlie...ya knew the Moth Queen would be flying in your flame didnt ya.

I dont know bout the butterflies..but i know the moths love the smoke and ash
and this write.

~Smoke and Ashes~
Tracy Chapman
I've got a red hot heart
Any your heart's as blue as the blood in your veins
I say there's fire down below
You say it's only smoke and ashes baby

But knowing now for certain that you were always right
Because if a breeze could blow you out of my life
It's only smoke and ashes baby
Only smoke and ashes baby

I've got a red hot heart
And your heart's as blue as the blood in your veins
I say there's fire down below
You say it's only smoke and ashes baby ...
only smoke and ashes ...
only smoke and ashes ...


JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
13 posted 2004-08-24 07:35 PM


Very nice...James
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
14 posted 2004-08-24 08:25 PM


Y'know...
you don't need anyone's muse
but your own
to make the rest of us
smile.

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