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Open Poetry #33
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Martie
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since 1999-09-21
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California

0 posted 2004-08-23 03:49 PM


Anticipating Autumn  

A hawk called in fly by across the blue
and suddenly the sun closed down
with a dog barking the neighborhood gate
sounding alarm    too soon not too late

All my skin was wind wise
and in the place of feathers and questions
I draped my sheer portent     determined to close only clouds
and ease into something that I don’t know yet

But I feel it coming like a slow train
beating out a rhythm
calling to my lack of rain
with fresh fill of some song it is bursting
and I can almost sing along

Then like some sweet minute never meant to end
it’s gone and I am all alone again



© Copyright 2004 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
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since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2004-08-23 03:54 PM


Then like some sweet minute never meant to end
it’s gone and I am all alone again


Martie... despite how you might feel alone.. you are never alone...

Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635

2 posted 2004-08-23 04:04 PM


Only you could make me anticipate
something more...

as you well know.

You never seem alone,
you know,
when you wrap your words
so well around you.

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

3 posted 2004-08-23 04:09 PM


"But I feel it coming like a slow train
beating out a rhythm
calling to my lack of rain
with fresh fill of some song it is bursting
and I can almost sing along"

Autumn is my favorite season, just wish it wasn't followed by winter...  
Enjoyed much Martie.



Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
4 posted 2004-08-23 06:17 PM


Martie - you say and I stand in awe -you give me eyes  that see things I never imagined - this is great - paul
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
5 posted 2004-08-23 06:57 PM


"But I feel it coming like a slow train
beating out a rhythm
calling to my lack of rain
with fresh fill of some song it is bursting
and I can almost sing along

Then like some sweet minute never meant to end
it’s gone and I am all alone again"

Oh, but, Martie, you are such a sweet musician and you are singing that moment here so well!  Loved this.   ....jo



Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
6 posted 2004-08-23 10:37 PM


So beautifully said....but we must remember that here in this paradise, we can choose to have seasons, or not. It's all up to us.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2004-08-24 03:38 AM


sigh
ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
8 posted 2004-08-24 05:27 AM


Applause and a

Come read to me some poem,
Some simple and heartfelt lay,
That shall soothe this restless feeling
And banish the thoughts of day.
Longfellow

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
9 posted 2004-08-24 07:26 AM


Oh, Martie - this is simply lovely!  We're never alone - we simply think we are - and the sweet moments will live forever.
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
10 posted 2004-08-24 07:36 AM



Your words give inspiration to aspire to a higher level of writing, that which for you is an inherent part of who you are. So my eye can only look in admiration, and my heart in joy.

take care, sweet poetess
Liz

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
11 posted 2004-08-24 08:15 AM


You've really become an expert at this stuff Martie....incredible write....
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

12 posted 2004-08-24 06:03 PM


All my skin was wind wise
and in the place of feathers and questions
I draped my sheer portent     determined to close only clouds
and ease into something that I don’t know yet

===============================

good lordy I LOVE your personifications and imagery...time and time again you turn words into poetic perfection.

We go where there is love when ever we are lonely ... going back, we find,
enough love stayed behind to make us feel at home.

Jane Oliver

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

13 posted 2004-08-26 08:39 AM


This is simply amazing Martie, as is you.

Sweet Lady

I'm keeping it

Mxx

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

14 posted 2004-08-26 08:43 AM


Geez how did I miss this? So glad it came back up. Martie, hon...you alone? Never gal, NEVER  
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
15 posted 2004-08-26 08:54 AM


something about this one
sends a note of winter too

your eyes see something hidden
don't be afraid

enjoyed your are as always ms martie

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

16 posted 2004-08-26 09:04 AM


Hiya Martie and good morning

You are a tremendous writer, able to keep the reader in suspense from beginning to end, with a story lesson...and I never tire of reading you....it's always such a thrilling experience to click on you.

No, you are never alone...ever...and you have my number if need be.

Take care dear friend, and sending good thoughts your way, for you and yours.
Luv
Me

RMW
Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424

17 posted 2004-08-26 10:06 AM


Martie .... This touched my love of trains, and rainy weather ..... and " ... sweet minutes never meant to end." Well done. Bob
choshi
Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184
New York
18 posted 2004-08-26 02:45 PM


The movements and images here are quite powerful - and moving - like autumn's changes

~P

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
19 posted 2004-08-27 03:48 PM


Even your title is pure poetry. *S* I read this... and read it again... from soar to sad settle... this is excellent!!
msflame
Member
since 2002-05-21
Posts 188

20 posted 2004-08-27 04:01 PM


This read like a soft breeze. Lovely. I do thank you!
Alicia
Member
since 2002-03-22
Posts 279

21 posted 2004-08-27 08:09 PM


~oh just, reading and sighing and feeling small slivers of it myself these past days, like quiet whispers walking past. your writing is alive, something powerful enough to soak skin and heart.
elfine
Junior Member
since 2004-06-08
Posts 35
traveling
22 posted 2004-08-27 10:27 PM


I had to read and re-read this ... beautiful, the way you make us feel anticipation and then the closing and abandonment of winter.  It doesn't trip lightly ... perfect for autumn, though.  
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
23 posted 2004-08-27 11:53 PM


All my skin was wind wise
and in the place of feathers and questions

Good grief~you awe me lady.

Tim
Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794

24 posted 2004-08-27 11:59 PM


You do have a way with words...
always a pleasure to read and experience.

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
25 posted 2004-11-13 09:55 AM


I am not sure how I missed this, but glad I finally read it.

The seasons come and go and paint us all with unique strokes.

*smile*

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
26 posted 2004-11-13 11:51 AM


you know how to tug the heart-strings
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