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Open Poetry #33
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Martie
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0 posted 2004-08-22 03:04 PM



     


Layered              meaning

A candle in the dark
opening shadows with their light

Eyes that hold within wordless words
a story’s never end

Looking down into a mountain
for the spirit of a child

The flight of bird with unmoving wings
riding waves of air

Layered          meaning

The illusion of skin with fair and sweater
across the nape of evening

A kiss in closing down the goodnight
into dreams that rock the bed to sleep





© Copyright 2004 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Goodknight
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since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
1 posted 2004-08-22 03:23 PM


Martie - your artistry is so amazing - well guess when you have the talent you have it isn't so amazing but to someone like me it is such a joy to read and to travel with you through the layers of your writing - this is just great - Paul
Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
2 posted 2004-08-22 04:41 PM


I don't know that this poem
could have contained any more
with any less...

The picture complementing the words
complimenting the layers...

Will you adopt me?  

Midnitesun
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Gaia
3 posted 2004-08-22 04:49 PM


Your pen writes with the softness of candlelight.
Ratleader
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since 2003-01-23
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Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
4 posted 2004-08-22 06:34 PM


So gentle and good, like a spirit's touch beneath the stars....your heart is showing, dear lady....

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Ethan Halo
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since 2000-04-28
Posts 793
on the roof again
5 posted 2004-08-22 07:03 PM


it was easy to get lost in this...i leaned forward into the screen as i read, and i didn't realized how wrapped up i was (or how close to the screen i was) til i took a breath to reply.
wonderfully done, martie! a sweet and vivid journey.

it's not that the future is near or far...
the future's just so grim.

Dark Angel
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since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

6 posted 2004-08-22 07:08 PM


The pic, the poem and you....all beautiful.

great big

love you Martie

Mxx

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2004-08-22 07:15 PM


I am smiling so wide here.

I love the title, and you worked an opposite metaphor with it too.

Layered meaning, with this pic, and I recall all the geology lessons of sedimentary and..oh, well, I recall SOME of the geology lessons.

But I was asked just last week who was among my list of favored poets, and you, my friend were at the top of the list because of just this--layered meaning.

I actually wondered if you knew that you strike subconscious chords with your choices of word phrases and how those choices resonate, like the wings of butterfly effect, reconciled only at some later time.

(It makes me sit up and say "OH.".)

I suspect you do know.

and I think you are a frigging genius.


icebox
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since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
8 posted 2004-08-22 07:32 PM


"Eyes that hold within wordless words
a story’s never end"

*smile*

Magnus
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South Carolina, USA
9 posted 2004-08-22 07:40 PM


Martie,  yes layer upon layer of depth and
meaning in your way of doing it....far
beyond what we ourselves can.  You are the
best...and yes, the picture certainly
complements the poem....looks kinda
KalefornyAish....

LeeJ
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since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

10 posted 2004-08-23 06:50 AM


Nature at her finest, and you...depicting her every move, from the spirit world of her...an extremely beautiful poem
kayjay
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since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015
Oregon
11 posted 2004-08-23 08:53 AM


Always glad to find
Musings of your mind

Lovely thoughts...KJ

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

12 posted 2004-08-23 09:02 AM


Eyes that hold within wordless words
a story’s never end

Looking down into a mountain
for the spirit of a child

=========================

your layers are more lovely than my mere words will do just...
but I can tell you both your spirit and hers are there between every perfect poetic line.

We go where there is love when ever we are lonely ... going back, we find,
enough love stayed behind to make us feel at home.

Jane Oliver

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
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displaced
13 posted 2004-08-23 12:38 PM


this is precious
Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
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British Columbia, Canada
14 posted 2004-08-23 01:56 PM


Martie, just dropped in to say I am absolutely never disappointed reading one word you write, ever!  I think you hold the record for holding my attention.  I simply am overwhelmed at how you see things, and write them, in awe actually.
iliana
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since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
15 posted 2004-08-24 12:04 PM


Sweet Martie, this....oh this, *deep sigh*  Joining your others in the library   ....jo
miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
16 posted 2004-08-24 01:18 AM


Martie,
   "A candle in the dark
opening shadows with their light".  This is so true of your writing!  Love it.  Have a good week, Martie.
                 miscellanea

msflame
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since 2002-05-21
Posts 188

17 posted 2004-08-24 02:39 PM


Uplifting verse and so in touch with my own spirit today. Thank you!
Cpat Hair
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18 posted 2004-08-24 02:48 PM


(smiling)
RMW
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since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424

19 posted 2004-08-24 03:15 PM


Martie ... touching, as always. Bob
Gentle Spirit
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since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

20 posted 2004-08-24 03:17 PM


smiling and shaking my head..
yer amazing, ya know?  Love this Martie gal.

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