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Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

0 posted 2004-08-21 08:04 AM


On a night both dark and dreary, I sat outside your window, weary
saw you reading in the lamplight a volume of forgotten lore
but because my wings were clapping and I know that you were napping
I fluttered and my wings were flapping, tapping at the glass before
" 'tis some visitor" you muttered "tapping at my chamber door"
just a tap and nothing more

in the dark I heard you mutter, with the slightest trace of stutter
though my thoughts were on the butter I could smell beyond your door
your face bore frowns I saw your sorrow, I forgot I came to borrow
something that would ease my morrow, butter for my nesting four
I have young ones that are nesting, flightless are my nesting four
open beaks they have and more

you looked up, though my tap was fleeting for my heart was swiftly beating
you spoke but it was not in greeting, more to tell me what's in store
" 'tis some visitor entreating", you said it once and then repeating
said it more though time was fleeting, while I waited here by law
I cannot enter through your door

then you grew bold your speech was stronger, I'd delayed, could wait no longer
my young ones waiting, now were crying I could hear their caws and more
so to the night I flew in yearning, while you spent your mind in turning
what you thought in wond'ring, learning who was waiting at your door
before I waited gently tapping, tapping at your chamber door
now I had gone there's nothing more.

to the dark I saw you peering, eyes near shut and wond'ring fearing,
but I had chicks that needed tending and they needed me much more
when I'd given them attention and relieved my growing tension
I'd return but did I mention, I'd be knocking on your door
a whispered word, the silence broken echoed back oh sweet Lenore
nothing more just sweet Lenore

when my babies I had tended and their cries were nearly ended
I returned, on wings I wended, back, still back up to your door
at your window with its trapping I began a louder rapping
with my beak and with my flapping I rapped hard upon your door
give me butter for my tapping, loud I cried in raucous caw
butter for my winter's store

then you opened up the shutter, set my wings in all aflutter
and I heard you moan and mutter "a raven from the days of yore"
I flew right in not condescending, for your spirit was ascending
the subtle warmth left me intending  to sit a moment on your floor
heat lifted me, with mien of lady, I fluttered up above your door
and sat on Pallas, nothing more

t'was then I felt your melancholy but remember I came solely
into your domain unholy,  for your butter nothing more
then my wings in mantled flutter, called my wish in stammer stutter
and I thought I heard you utter, "are you night’s plutonium shore?"
cawing loudly, 'give me butter,  lest I come here nevermore'
all that came was ‘nevermore’

I sat on Pallas crying plainly and you screwed your head ungainly
then I went silent at your question, not relevant to me I swore
I cannot  in faith agreeing, say all you saw I too was seeing
but why aren't you your butter freeing, as a gift to build my store
I spoke this uttering at your wishing yet all you heard was raucous caw
from the raven just a caw

from this Pallas sad and lonely,  I spake again but you  had only
heard the sound both low and comely, sounds that you had heard before
I sat quite still and nothing uttered, for my hope of butter fluttered
as you ranted and you muttered "one word only his outpour
on the morrow he will leave me as my hopes have flown before"
then I cried out 'nevermore.'

my reply so aptly spoken, gave you pause your thoughts were broken
I expected now a token of  your praise, gathered adore
to the pantry you must stumble with no groan and no dark mumble
else your faith I'll turn and tumble ere I'm winging out your door
I turn my head to see you fumble as I awaken songs of yore
to bring your butter to my claw

so I sat here still beguiling, into all your sadness smiling
waiting watching, beak on tiling as you pondered meaning's core
then you sat on velvet sinking with your hands clasped merely thinking
while you see in my soul, drinking all the words now gone before
pondering all and never blinking while you're musing nevermore
and held my will inside this door

silently engaged in guessing, but my need was somewhat pressing
I turned with eye both dark and glassine "give me butter for my store"
still you sat before me minding, all the thoughts you had been finding
while my thoughts were homeward winding, while you sat and gloated o'er
asking me from your reclining "what this means, this nevermore
nothing more than nevermore."

then the very air grew denser and you cursed me, your dispenser
of all wisdom, your condenser of your musings scattered core
in the lamplight you were raving while my heart was sore and craving
and once more I thought of braving all your ire to get my store
nothing in your endless raving gave me buttered bread or more
nothing for my beak and claw

'prophet' said you "thing of evil, portent of both god and devil,
whether sent by force medieval, sent by tempest to this shore
tell this soul with sorrow laden, shall I clasp a radiant maiden?
tell me truly" you implored me "is there balm on Gilead's shore.
Will it hold a sainted maiden known to me as my Lenore?"
then I answered Nevermore

no wisdom sent to end your calling and I think that you are stalling
give me not your caterwauling  give me butter from your store
I am nothing but a raven, I can't give you what you're craving
you look at me and start your raving, I want butter nothing more
words can't fill my babies craving. What do I know of Lenore?
Nothing, nothing evermore

Then you shrieked "let this be parting" rising up with hands a darting
"ending all" you said in starting "is better than has gone before
get thee hence into the morrow leave me with my time of sorrow
you can neither beg nor borrow all the pain life has in store
so take your wings to find the morrow, take your presence from my door"
still no butter for my four

Still I sit in waiting, waiting, still I stay, anticipating
that you will cease this mindless prating and give butter from your store
can't you see this play is ending and I seek the night in wending
this is it, no more pretending you don't know that this is lore
raise yourself in heartfelt mending, get yourself from off the floor
or be lifted nevermore.




Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



© Copyright 2004 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2004-08-21 08:24 AM


Good gads girlfriend, this is one heck of a bird's eye view...of a Poet.  This is marvelous and held me from the get-go!  Poe would be SO very proud of your efforts!  Me, I'm just astounded...that you found the TIME for this masterpiece!

I love it and it's libraried and you are something else!!!

Karilea - if I whisper, will you listen?  Keeping in mind, I must stand close...

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
2 posted 2004-08-21 11:16 AM


Lynne, dear one...you have carved from the
earth the most excellent POEm...  You must
know this certainly pulls me in...being HE is
by far one of my favorite poets...

And from the torrid tapping on the window yon was rapping
a bird that killed my napping,  all of this and nothing more....

For from this voice of feather came a caw out of the weather
and sit upon my mantle,  now stiff as not
before...

LOVE IT!!!!

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
3 posted 2004-08-21 12:13 PM


DANG! This one is a keeper keeper keeper!
What a masterpiece, a Poe-etic style beauty. I cannot imagine the time and intense concentration this must have taken you.
It left me in awe, and with a giant smile.

Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2004-08-21 04:53 PM


Kethry~
I sit here reading this for the fourth time, totally in awe of your talent dear lady~
It's a keeper for me~
Thank you~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
5 posted 2004-08-21 04:55 PM


Fabulous write, Kethry!   ....jo
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
6 posted 2004-08-21 06:44 PM


I don't even NEED to tell you how I feel about this one.....but I will anyway. I LOVE IT!!!

Not only is it a wonderful perspective to write from, you did it so perfectly. It's one of those "Why didn't I think of that??" poems.

Absolutely fantastic, Keth....I can't say enough.

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
7 posted 2004-08-21 06:49 PM


Deer,
I had begun because of another poet but I posted because of you.

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
8 posted 2004-08-22 12:13 PM



I had to come back to visit this again, it is so far beyond anything I'll ever attempt. I am in awe of your talent, Kethry m'friend.

barbaraj
Member
since 2003-01-24
Posts 139
Nova Scotia, Canada
9 posted 2004-08-22 01:41 AM


excellent poem, kethry...one that i shall return to often

I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to...

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
10 posted 2004-08-22 11:12 PM


Kethry
You have left me speachless and I truly bow to your talent. excellent

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
11 posted 2004-08-23 12:59 PM


Absolutely brilliant write!  A real beauty!

JL


She said: ”You look cute in the dark.”


LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

12 posted 2004-08-23 01:17 PM


sheeeshhh, you must be a relative of Poe's Yes?  Just kidding...I am amazed at this, truely amazed....very well done and thought out, and the rhyme is perfect.  

Enjoyed!

Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
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British Columbia, Canada
13 posted 2004-08-23 01:47 PM


This was absolutely incredible.  I can see it illustrated Kethry, and being a book that many would be treasure forever.  I printed it out and will read it over and over again.  For this offering, I thank you, it is truly the work of an outstanding poet.
Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
14 posted 2004-08-24 04:51 PM


This is fantastic! You kept true to the original, and to the viewpoint you chose, and made me laugh too.  This is a tour de force.  I have never done anything like this, or thought it was possible.  Awesome!

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
15 posted 2004-08-24 05:08 PM


Keth,  again I will say this is an awesome
take off from Poe....and it merits being
here among the best...You have done very
well...and...I enjoyed the playful joust
with you, was fun...

[This message has been edited by Magnus (08-24-2004 09:15 PM).]

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
16 posted 2004-08-24 05:38 PM


Kethry dear...you couldn't have done a better job.....wonderful...
msflame
Member
since 2002-05-21
Posts 188

17 posted 2004-08-24 06:55 PM


Enjoyed and admire your work. Birds had been on mind of late. Thanks for a great read.
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
18 posted 2004-08-27 03:39 PM


Yowsers, woman!!!! I'd be bowing and scraping in humble appreciation regardless... since a certain mushy mutual acquaintance told me how long you worked on this *cough* I'm doubly floored!! *S* Fantastic work!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
19 posted 2004-08-29 11:26 AM



Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
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British Columbia, Canada
20 posted 2004-08-30 02:40 PM


An excellent composition of poetry that definitely needs another read by those that may have missed it.  I had to find you
Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
21 posted 2004-09-23 10:30 PM


Kethry,
Kept me to the end...

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

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