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Open Poetry #33
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Susan Caldwell
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since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida

0 posted 2004-08-19 11:18 AM




Simplicity is something neither earned nor gained
through the notion of unraveling
these the thoughts that plague me.

Purging myself of doubts,
throwing them out
in hopes of understanding their existence.

I don’t relish your hypothetical.
Their real design
a packing of sorts.

The sun doesn’t always rise,
flowers don’t always bloom,
but I was willing to always be here.

And yet you don’t want my hand,
to guide us through the dark.
Nor do you offer your own.

“Smile” you said,
and when I asked you why,
you replied that it means I am happy.

Your need for me to always smile
belies the confidence
you’ve talked yourself into.

As you have denied
that night is the yin
to the yang of day,

and neither could breathe
without the respite offered
by the other.


"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

© Copyright 2004 Susan Caldwell - All Rights Reserved
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

1 posted 2004-08-19 11:33 AM


well, I don't know who you wrote this for
but you give me plenty of reasons to smile....


As you have denied
that night is the yin
to the yang of day,

and neither could breathe
without the respite offered
by the other.


This truly spoke to me...thank you for sharing!

Gentle Spirit
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since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

2 posted 2004-08-19 11:34 AM


The sun doesn’t always rise,
flowers don’t always bloom,
but I was willing to always be here.

And yet you don’t want my hand,
to guide us through the dark.
Nor do you offer your own.

Now gal, this is something I relate to soooo very well.  I love your writing, and introspections....
you have a beautiful mind and heart!

muted
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since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
3 posted 2004-08-19 11:36 AM


i feel the sadness in this
and holding up facades
will soon break you

this has a bittersweet tone
i enjoyed very much                       

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2004-08-19 12:31 PM


I hate it when people tell me to smile

like they don't think I have problems and bad days

Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2004-08-19 12:35 PM


Susan,
Smile you might be on candid camera. Good write.  


Cpat Hair
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6 posted 2004-08-19 01:38 PM


nicely done ma'am...
Midnitesun
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Gaia
7 posted 2004-08-19 02:41 PM


This is about as honest and straightforward as one can get.
My daughter scowls when I ask her to smile (but she is a teenager, so it's the primary modus operendi by nature, some days).

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
8 posted 2004-08-19 03:37 PM


I believe Yin you.  *grin*

Because some of the nerves in my face were damaged, I often think I am smiling but the smile is not always visible by others.  So, I have come to think that the smile I wear inside is most important to me.

(Of course, when I am cranky it often appears the same way.)

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
9 posted 2004-08-19 03:56 PM


"The sun doesn’t always rise,
flowers don’t always bloom,
but I was willing to always be here.

And yet you don’t want my hand,
to guide us through the dark.
Nor do you offer your own.

“Smile” you said,
and when I asked you why,
you replied that it means I am happy."

but who says i need to pretend to be happy when i am not

understanding this more than you know


Edder
Senior Member
since 2003-04-02
Posts 671

10 posted 2004-08-19 04:04 PM


You always find a way to touch me with your writing... now get outta my head!
serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

11 posted 2004-08-19 04:47 PM


a big YES!

Lady, I don't know what is going on with you, but your muse is kicking butt of late.

I love the introspective qualities of your latest offerings, you've been runnin' nekked through the blue pages, and ain't it grand?




Magnus
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since 2001-10-10
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South Carolina, USA
12 posted 2004-08-19 08:16 PM


Susan, sometimes smiles just don't mean a lot,
particularly when forced to exist.  I wish
you all you desire and all that might allow
you to smile your own natural smile.


Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
13 posted 2004-08-19 09:55 PM


**sigh** Painfully beautiful...I tell my husband all the time that the reason I love him is that his smile reaches his eyes...If you can't see the smile in the eyes it isn't felt in the heart...**hugs**

Kaoru
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Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
14 posted 2004-08-20 12:23 PM


You know I love your musings, Susan. This one I very much enjoyed.
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
15 posted 2004-08-20 09:59 AM


Thank you all, your responses mean so very much more than you could ever realize.

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

16 posted 2004-08-20 01:25 PM


Must say Myrtle, you have been doing some excellent writing, as of late.  Must be all that inspiration I supply ya...  

Susan Caldwell
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since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
17 posted 2004-08-20 01:45 PM


LMAO

Dunc...

you are the most conceited, arrogant, bombastic person I have ever known....(I know that is redundant, but I like big words... )

and I still love ya.  

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Duncan
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since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

18 posted 2004-08-20 01:47 PM



It's a gift...  
Oh and you forgot "charming".

Midnitesun
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Gaia
19 posted 2004-08-20 01:52 PM


ROTFLMAO

Dunc? bombastic? LOL, he can be such a naughty puppy.

Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

20 posted 2004-08-20 01:56 PM


charming????? LMAO

uh..dunc... unless you've taken up handling snakes of late and piping them out fo a basket while wearing a towel on your head..you have little hope of being charming..

lmao

Duncan
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since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

21 posted 2004-08-20 01:58 PM


Hey bud, I figured if you can be humble, I can be charming...  
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
22 posted 2004-08-20 02:01 PM


*snort*

lmao...

I am speechless.

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Duncan
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since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

23 posted 2004-08-20 02:04 PM


Speechless???  What, did somebody muzzle ya Myrtle???  
Cpat Hair
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Posts 11793

24 posted 2004-08-20 02:04 PM


LOL

well Dunc.. there is a difference you know.. I am humble...

and charming for you would require a bracelet with dangly things... lmao

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

25 posted 2004-08-20 02:07 PM


Keep it up Ron, this stuff works great for makin' stink bait!!!  

Midnitesun
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Gaia
26 posted 2004-08-20 02:10 PM


I am laughing so hard now I'm 'bout ready to spit my coffee
Cpat Hair
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27 posted 2004-08-20 02:11 PM


Oh..I can see how it would... using the scraps of your rejected writes.. such offering as this would add substance and it would stay on the hook better..

:0

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

28 posted 2004-08-20 02:15 PM


Exactly!!  And when I'm in need of a bobber, I just pinch off a word or two of yours and by design...it floats!!!  
Cpat Hair
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29 posted 2004-08-20 02:16 PM


(chuckling).. you are confused Dunc... tigerboy poetry floats.. shall I ask JM to post some for you to read?
fluff.. falls apart... which of course is why the rejected scraps of your writing won't stay on the hook...


Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

30 posted 2004-08-20 02:19 PM


I like to save the Tigerboyeeee poetry for bottom fishin', ya know, catfish love that crap...  

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
31 posted 2004-08-20 02:38 PM


*goes to the corner*

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Cpat Hair
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since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

32 posted 2004-08-20 02:51 PM


(chuckling) and you are going to the corner why???

Dunc is harmless unnless shredding some rejects of his, then the stuff that gets in the air is regulated by the EPA and you have to be careful...

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
33 posted 2004-08-20 05:11 PM


This is so sad, and I know the truth in this.  Very strong emotions and yet kept in check, and hidden.

Had me holding my breath as I read.

JL


Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
34 posted 2004-08-21 01:30 AM


sorry i'm late replying to this, was just shaving my legs..

great write..ah those stupid humans

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
35 posted 2004-08-21 09:00 AM


Susan
To me, this is the key stanza, that opens the mystery lock of this poem...

"“Smile” you said,
and when I asked you why,
you replied that it means I am happy."

Men's egos sometimes will not allow failures to surface, we ignore or mask them so we don't feel or look weak...
After a while we start to believe they don't exist and the partner in our lives pays psychologically for that mistake....

Good poetry...enjoyed
----------ice
   ><>

Come read to me some poem,
Some simple and heartfelt lay,
That shall soothe this restless feeling
And banish the thoughts of day.
Longfellow

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
36 posted 2004-08-21 09:04 AM


but I was willing to always be here.

~*~

You write from the heart,
not only with integrity
and structure,
but with passion.

Well done, Susan!

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