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Open Poetry #33
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Sunshine
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2004-08-18 08:42 PM


My muse is out playing in the August haze,
but she left a ditty from our yesterdays...

~*~

What the Sun Saw


There you stand, under sun so rare
surveying the land within your care
your head tilts to the meadowlark
then press on with work till dark

               I bring to you a small repast
               to tide you through your noon
               I lay slight hand upon bronzed arm
               with a wink of promises, soon.

                         Before I leave, I kiss your brow
                         to taste your salt upon my lips
                         you ask for the promise to be now
                         but my smile is all you sip.

                                   At the hour of four o'clock
                                   I come to take you in
                                   instead, you catch me by the arm
                                   and with taut hand, caress my chin

                                             Laying a palm upon your face
                                             you take me in your warm embrace
                                             my head lies on your chest so strong
                                             and we are where we both belong

~*~

Gently now you lay me down
          upon this broam and Indian grass
                    and here beneath the autumn sun
                              the remaining day comes to pass

~*~
                    
©Karilea Rilling Jungel
30 September, 2000

[This message has been edited by Sunshine (08-18-2004 09:21 PM).]

© Copyright 2004 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
Magnus
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since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
1 posted 2004-08-18 08:45 PM


I take back all the critical remarks of your
rhyme/meter....OK?

Beautifully crafted Sun, yepper!  Muse breaks
are allowed...but don't go to far with it!

muted
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Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
2 posted 2004-08-19 12:32 PM


*sigh*
*siiiiiggggghhhhhh*

Fagin
Member
since 2004-05-07
Posts 126
Ca
3 posted 2004-08-19 12:36 PM


Nice, Sis I like it!!
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
4 posted 2004-08-19 01:33 AM


SIL, this is such a delight to read and carries the warmth of the sun with it.  I love it!   .....jo
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2004-08-19 02:08 AM


you have such a way...to make a person sigh
Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
6 posted 2004-08-19 03:16 AM


Such a wonderful picture you have painted here Karilea.  I hope all is well with you.

Take care.........Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

vandana
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since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
7 posted 2004-08-19 10:03 AM


loved it
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

8 posted 2004-08-19 10:04 AM


ohhh....mum....
I like, much!

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

9 posted 2004-08-19 10:32 AM


Gently now you lay me down
          upon this broam and Indian grass
                    and here beneath the autumn sun
                              the remaining day comes to pass
sweet sighs and a happy nod...this was amazing!

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
10 posted 2004-08-19 11:09 AM


Laying a palm upon your face
                                             you take me in your warm embrace
                                             my head lies on your chest so strong
                                             and we are where we both belong


Ah, bliss !!  Lovely Karilea. hugs, Chrislane

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

11 posted 2004-08-19 01:08 PM



               I bring to you a small repast
               to tide you through your noon
               I lay slight hand upon bronzed arm
               with a wink of promises, soon.

                         Before I leave, I kiss your brow
                         to taste your salt upon my lips
                         you ask for the promise to be now
                         but my smile is all you sip.
==========================

As you know this has always been one of my faves of yours...I love the whole premise...the title is perfect poetry.

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
12 posted 2004-08-19 05:31 PM


Lovely, gentle and a touch romantic!


Corinne

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
13 posted 2004-08-20 09:29 AM


one word....beautiful!!
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
14 posted 2004-08-20 11:48 AM


"Laying a palm upon your face
you take me in your warm embrace
my head lies on your chest so strong
and we are where we both belong"

Beautiful Kari!!!

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
15 posted 2004-08-20 05:03 PM


WOW!x10 at least!

Beautiful poem!!

JL


Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

16 posted 2004-08-20 05:50 PM


Mmmm this embraced me Karilea, gentle and warm.

Lovely

Maree

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

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