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Open Poetry #33
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Garden snake
| Open Poetry #33 |
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Garden snake |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn 
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In my continuing effort to avoid writing the difficult things I wrote a few lines about Amy, a warm porcelain elf About her lying on the living room rug Idling through her picture-book of horses One hand supporting her head, her chin in her palm The other, turning the overlarge pages Until it left the book and disappeared beneath her About, how at that moment, her features softened And what transpired after But I abandoned those lines to a forsaken notebook For being self-absorbed drivel not needing to be written And took my coffee outside to enjoy the rural pursuit Of sitting on the steps that lead to my shack To watch the river taking his daily commute While soaking up some late-morning sun Then, noticed a snake on the woodpile beside me Doing much the same thing, without coffee, of course Though my “G’day, Mr. Snake” went wholly ignored I asked how it came to pass that a “Garden Snake” Finds himself in a place That, as green as it is, is certainly no garden? “Or is it?” I continued, “that you were named for that very first garden?” At that, he regarded me with the smirking half-smile That his kind always seems to exhibit, and said “You think me named for a garden Where an ancestor of yours met an ancestor of mine Beneath a tree bearing knowledge And tasted the fruit whose sweetness soon soured?” “I can’t really speak to that, for it’s an invention of yours” But, will say that we too have mythologies concerning that time” “How both Man and Snake came away from that place Altered in ways fundamentally profound” “Leaving Man with the need to shed the Sin he was born with Just as the Snake now needs to shed the skin he was born in” “And where Man now weeps, we no longer have tears While Man still walks, we no longer have limbs” “Since that time, we have reviled one another But today, I think we can part well met You, to scratch out your sins onto paper Me, to scratch mine off on your woodpile” |
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| © Copyright 2004 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved | |||
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Hey there, Ed... always a unique surprise awaiting in each of your writes. Interesting comparisons and a tasty apple for thought... -MVS You CAN make a difference, but first you should learn how: http://educate-yourself.org/intro.shtml |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Wranx, wow!, I have missed your writing. This was great and, of course, will be stored in safekeeping for me to enjoy again and again. Very profound, too!  ....jo |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ah, welcome home, Poet. This...is a  |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
ed..about time you got back in here !!! helen |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
neat write |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
I don't know what to say.. I'm not exactly speechless, in the fact that I have several compliments, but none would do well enough. I love this poem. That's all I'll say. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
"Then, noticed a snake on the woodpile beside me Doing much the same thing, without coffee, of course" so slither hither, my friend and though he did slide, he never lied and sipping coffee is just a diversionary tactic, isn't it? love your mind slinks |
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Kevo Member
since 2004-06-02
Posts 466Navarro County, Texas, USA |
What an incredible, thought-provoking, delicious piece of writing. I always look forward to your posts. Your ability to pick things up that many don't pay attention to and use them as inspiration to write such captivating, relevant, and profound poems amazes me. You are gifted. Kevin |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You are gifted m'yeti. You spun a fine thought provoking tale with roots of folklore and mythology woven in to that delicious tone that is just "your voice". Much missed you.  This is a delight. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I, too, was pleasantly surprised to see your wonderful comparison. M |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
what can i say that could top all these compliments? you already know  i really enjoyed this, I always do  |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
How both Man and Snake came away from that place Altered in ways fundamentally profound” “Leaving Man with the need to shed the Sin he was born with Just as the Snake now needs to shed the skin he was born in” “And where Man now weeps, we no longer have tears While Man still walks, we no longer have limbs” “Since that time, we have reviled one another But today, I think we can part well met You, to scratch out your sins onto paper Me, to scratch mine off on your woodpile” Bravo, Magnificent....!!!!! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
wranx Nice to see you back, excellent write. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
So pleased to see you back among us Ed, your words have been missed. I enjoyed the special quality of this today, a keeper for sure! Thank you. |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
This was the last poem I read last night before going to sleep. I was hoping to induce some interesting nightmares. Enjoyed the read and your unique perspective Ed...  |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
damn... wish I had written this... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
ain't it great?  I love this. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Brother Ed, how I would love to sit having a coffee with you. This is an absolute charm and you? you're delightful. and like Cpat, I wish I had written this. it's a keeper Bro  The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change. |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Hi Wranx, Wise words here, my friend. I enjoy reading about your peaceful shack on the river, it's quite visual. I'd be disappointed if you really lived in some apartment in the city! Corinne |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
Nice write, Sir. Enjoyed. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed I can picture this whole thing and the even hear the conversation! Quite enjoyable and uniquely you! Good to see you here! |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Beware, warm porcelain elves can very definitely complicate one's poetic endeavors....as we see here! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
and we arrive around the same time . . . *smile* . . . (as if . . .) how I have missed you, your wisdom and your beautiful words Eddie . . . |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Now that was really, really pretty damn good! Yeti you got talent you haven't even tapped into yet, and I think I will stick around to read it. |
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