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Open Poetry #33
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jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298


0 posted 2004-08-16 02:46 PM


gifted with words and given glue,
little by little able
to patch myself through,
each passage secured
behind me.
but I cannot write through
this dark doorway;
I cannot write
this one away.

reflections diminish daily, overly
taxed by past mistakes that
haunt memory's pleas.
fondness trips over
misgivings that lurk,
darkly waiting.
hindsight’s perspective
tangles into today’s
concentration;
regret’s heartbeats
grow daily
more
deafening.

words given or not
it remains open,
because it has need to;
I must not forget.
remembrance is love
and remembrance
is all that is left.
here is now requisite, here
is where I will stay.

remorsefully it swings back
and forth on memory oiled hinges,
its lock mercilessly broken;

God all I can ask is
give me strength.

I can’t shut this door.

[This message has been edited by jellybeans (08-16-2004 05:38 PM).]

© Copyright 2004 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2004-08-16 02:51 PM


Maybe not...
but you sure poured forth.


Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

2 posted 2004-08-16 02:53 PM


words given or not
it remains open,
because it has need to;
========================

in your words I believe is much strength
and faith hon...
lovely purging....
hugs

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2004-08-16 02:59 PM


*understanding this*
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
4 posted 2004-08-16 04:33 PM


hindsight’s perspective
tangles into today’s
concentration;

I think this is one of your best... so finding a section to highlight wasn't easy. But this speaks so eloquently... and is such unfortunate truth.

Excellent work, my friend!!

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

5 posted 2004-08-16 04:52 PM


this is my hope, that within my words, everyone can identify at least with a word or two, and some of you who live with loss, that you will find understanding in my struggle to cope...I value you all here so much......you stay with me whether I have words or not *smiles and hugs*

suthern, special thank you for helping me with my perspective on these, without your 'read' they just aren't finished, and this time you helped push them into post'abiltity...thank you lady

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
6 posted 2004-08-16 05:49 PM


*sigh* some doors have a need to remain open;
we can't always understand why

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
7 posted 2004-08-16 05:53 PM


hindsight’s perspective
tangles into today’s
concentration;
regret’s heartbeats
grow daily
more
deafening.


hugs to you...I know of your struggle and although mine is not quite the same I feel your words when I read them, as I do Suthern's.

Some days my heartbeats so hard and anxiety gets the best of me, although I am learning to control it and the fears that arise because of it.


M

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
8 posted 2004-08-16 08:43 PM


"words given or not
it remains open,
because it has need to;
I must not forget.
remembrance is love
and remembrance
is all that is left.
here is now requisite, here
is where I will stay.

remorsefully it swings back
and forth on memory oiled hinges,
its lock mercilessly broken;

God all I can ask is
give me strength.

I can’t shut this door."

I just want to hug you, Jellybeans...the pain in your thoughtful and beautifully sad penning reaches beyond the screen of my computer...for I remember loss, too, and dreams...sometimes I wanted to sleep forever because I would dream of the one I missed and was afraid I would not dream again if I woke up.  Hang on to your faith strongly dear one.  This door will probably always be there, but maybe it will get easier to walk to and from.   ......jo

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

9 posted 2004-08-17 09:48 AM


thank you...so much, your care makes this pain easier to carry.....don't know how I would do this, without writing, and friends like you to read them.....thank you again
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