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Open Poetry #33
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Paper Tiger
Member
since 2003-09-28
Posts 77


0 posted 2004-08-15 06:34 AM


I was too conceited to appreciate the fact
   That you were the one keeping me sane;
   Comforted with your hands on my back,—
   You lead me through each step along the way.
I can still remember you calming my nerves:
   Speaking softly, with such sweet serenity,
   Reassured by the power of your words;—
   But all that remains at present is uncertainty.
I endeavor to stretch forth my untested hand:
   Without your light, or guiding wind,
   Into the great unknown; and now I understand,—
   This is where you end and where I begin.

In my eyes, I'm not lazy.  In your eyes, I'm not worth it.

© Copyright 2004 Paper Tiger - All Rights Reserved
GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
1 posted 2004-08-15 06:46 AM


Always a hard place to come to... and to leave,
but definitely worth celebration!
This kind of confidant and friend is the most special kind.
They help you be what you should be,
and then let you go on and really BE that.
Love your write,

Always, Alyssa

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
                  Joyce kilmer

aujussy wolf
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215
Michigan
2 posted 2004-08-15 12:04 PM


right on the money with this one ...
great start and even better of an ending
keep the pen in hand ....

~wolf

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
3 posted 2004-08-15 12:09 PM


The last line really brought this one home.

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

IndigoEve
Member
since 2003-01-10
Posts 279
Etched in the illusion of time
4 posted 2004-08-16 11:23 AM


Why can I not stop
the letting of this go?

If I were to touch you, would you bleed a velvet river, running miracles through the sodden ground? --Moi

IndigoEve
Member
since 2003-01-10
Posts 279
Etched in the illusion of time
5 posted 2004-08-16 11:23 AM


Please delete this
Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
6 posted 2004-08-16 11:27 AM


Heartfelt and powerful...A poem that leaves one looking within...well done...

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
7 posted 2004-08-16 11:44 AM


Your untested hand has written an eloquent expression of your soul. You will be able to fly solo guided by the light of the sun, the moon, and the stars...
Sun 2  Moon  StarStar  


EA
Stars


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
8 posted 2004-08-16 11:47 AM


oh that last line....yes
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
9 posted 2004-08-17 11:44 PM


NIce...James
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
10 posted 2004-08-18 10:04 AM


I really enjoy reading you, Tiger.  This one off to my library......jo
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

11 posted 2004-08-18 10:32 AM


I believe what you have written here are one of the many gifts in life we should never forget and treasure...these special ones are a priceless comodity, which God blesses us with...wonderful write and tribute to someone who will never end...ever....smiles and hugs...this one I so loved, as I've been very fortunate to have been gifted with their presence in my life...or should I say...present?


Paper Tiger
Member
since 2003-09-28
Posts 77

12 posted 2004-08-18 11:16 AM


I made a small change to the poem. I changed the line: "But all that remains at present is uncertainty" to "But you've left me here with no idenity."

Let me know what you think.


In my eyes, I'm not lazy.  In your eyes, I'm not worth it.

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