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Open Poetry #33
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Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2004-08-14 11:59 AM



Wake in your dreams to
broken fire and water
or the hands that held
some kind of truth
all this rain is lonely
sketch these eyes
black

they stand before you lost
looking for light
shadows of butterflies

will it matter
who threw the first stone?
it lands the same
off your  gray  eyelids

I looked back
dust was rising from where
we once danced

delicate break

once you loved me

the thing about poetry
it always finds a way to be still

between the because

writes and rewrites the seas
points of release
shapes chance


before your soul leaves
find the place we left

once you loved me

between the because


I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone though you're still with me
I've been alone all along..Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

© Copyright 2004 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2004-08-14 12:40 PM


beautiful and melancholic
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2004-08-14 01:19 PM


Greeneyes
A moment in time. Well done.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2004-08-14 01:54 PM


Wake in your dreams to
broken fire and water
or the hands that held
some kind of truth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I looked back
dust was rising from where
we once danced

delicate break

once you loved me

the thing about poetry
it always finds a way to be still

between the because

writes and rewrites the seas
points of release
shapes chance


before your soul leaves
find the place we left

once you loved me

between the because

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

oh sweetie..the emotions in this rise off the page... endings are the hardest thing we ever do...and ironically, usually inspire some of our best writing...


the thing about poetry
it always finds a way to be still

between the because

writes and rewrites the seas
points of release
shapes chance



*hugging you* ....
write your self a happy ending sweets..I know its definately your turn...you are due.



aujussy wolf
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Senior Member
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215
Michigan
4 posted 2004-08-14 06:50 PM


hugs for you L.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
5 posted 2004-08-14 08:10 PM


between the because


love the title and everything in between...
*s
M

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2004-08-14 09:14 PM


the thing about poetry
it always finds a way to be still

between the because

~*~

Lauren, we've said a number of times, "this is your best," and you keep upping the high vault line...

well, you just upped it again.

Wow!

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

7 posted 2004-08-14 09:21 PM


"will it matter
who threw the first stone?
it lands the same
off your  gray  eyelids

I looked back
dust was rising from where
we once danced

delicate break

once you loved me

the thing about poetry
it always finds a way to be still

between the because"


What could I possibly say that this doesn't already express.  Pure pain is hard to follow...



Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
8 posted 2004-08-14 10:03 PM


Because does give birth to both ends of love.  The beginning and the end of...  You
have written a beauty here Lauren...loved
your imagery....excellent,  and the mood so
well conveyed..

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
9 posted 2004-08-15 12:38 PM


Stunning write.
TD

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
10 posted 2004-08-15 12:56 PM


"before your soul leaves
find the place we left

once you loved me

between the because"

Lauren, this was so profound.  Lovely penning.   ...jo

Contabo
Member
since 2001-11-21
Posts 159

11 posted 2004-08-15 09:38 PM


at least someone here can consistently post poetic musings and do so in a creative manner.

I read ALL your poetry.

even when I am in a bad mood.

Contabo

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