Hurricane Charley . (in dual voice)

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Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

0 posted 2004-08-14 11:26 AM

               Hurricane Charley

   who can know,            one who has
who has not lived            lived through to
   the failure,                        knowing inward
     fated perhaps            in the place of
       until that             deepest reckoning
hapless surge            misjudged
    of realization            the strength
that this storm            then
     will take                     realization
        all                        too late

one deadly blink            knowing so much
      of the world’s eye         will be lost, stolen
       then                         by a mindless fate
parlous desolation        or worse by air
        the sight of it           without intent or even
punishment enough            the recompense of
           for the crime            a plan,
       of failing                 karma played out
to depart in time,           in a barometric
curse the staying            slip
      so briefly easier      along the path of
        than leaving            least resistance

there can be no blame            ripped by a little
     no going back            moist warmth
    life will rebuild            translated too soon
            or it will not            into horror
and nothing ever            and nothing ever
             the same          the same

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

1 posted 2004-08-14 11:31 AM

Ratleader,
I haven't experienced the disitruction of a hurricane, but have a tornado. A few years back a tornado brought parts someone's home, piece by piece, to our meadow thirty miles away. Lives were lost. You summed it as I would imagine. I hope all is well. I enjoy the quality of your poetry very much.
miscellanea

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

2 posted 2004-08-14 12:38 PM

dang

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

3 posted 2004-08-14 01:28 PM

Ratleader
As they say in fencing, touche.

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

4 posted 2004-08-14 02:03 PM

Deep and stormy ponderings. Appreciated.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

5 posted 2004-08-14 10:45 PM

Ed

"there can be no blame ripped by a little"

So much of this poem is layered...as the above...seems to be true for much of life..I like the thought of, "there is no blame". I hope you are having a good weekend!

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

6 posted 2004-08-14 11:15 PM

You wrote it well Ed. Being a Hugo (1989)
survivor...and a dodger of Floyd about 3
years ago, perhaps 4.... And having rode
through a couple more near misses...I can
relate to all you say...and it isn't easy
leaving all you have behind you as you pull
out the drive....trying hard not to look
back...

Thanx

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

7 posted 2004-08-15 12:33 PM

Awesome write. Dern it you took the title of my newest poem I was working on. LMAO But all is cool.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

8 posted 2004-08-15 01:20 AM

well, thank goodness it seems most of our Pipsters are all checking in, safe from the storm
there are a couple of them out there that haven't checked in yet

we are all assuming you're just temporarily without phones/power/internet

Kevo
Member

since 2004-06-02

Posts 466
Navarro County, Texas, USA

9 posted 2004-08-15 03:49 AM

Looking at the destruction created by that hurricane almost makes you glad to tolerate the propensity for tornadoes. My wife has family in that area hardest hit. They are okay but my wife was pretty upset about the potential for her aunts' losses. Prayers have been said for all of them. Your poem has such a feeling of raw truth in which we can understand the shock of a storm of this magnitude at least on some insignificant level. This was well written and leaves its mark at the core of us all.

Kevin

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

10 posted 2004-08-15 03:58 AM

Unique presentation and very well expressed.
Good cutting ideas and images in contrast.

Eric

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

11 posted 2004-08-16 04:04 PM

the sight of it
punishment enough
for the crime
of failing
to depart in time,
curse the staying
so briefly easier
than leaving

translated too soon
into horror
and nothing ever
the same

I can't think of anyone who could provide a better voice for all those staring into the horror of never the same. This is magnificent, my friend... simply magnificent.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

12 posted 2004-08-16 04:26 PM

For all the devastation wrought,
reading this puts you dead center
into the destruction...

well done, Sir!

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

13 posted 2004-08-17 11:38 PM

NIce writing...James

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

14 posted 2004-08-18 10:02 PM

*studying*

Thanks Ed!

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

15 posted 2004-08-19 12:16 PM

another magnificent write...you amaze me

Brilliant!

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