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Open Poetry #33
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VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2004-08-13 09:15 PM



Tell me what you think of this; I'm trying to decide whether to let it take me somewhere, or stop right here so the reader and I can go wherever we might dream.

With wanderlust, it calls
the morning to arise
it echoes down the tracks
its mournful wandering cries.


©August 2004

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

© Copyright 2004 Virginia Salter - All Rights Reserved
miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
1 posted 2004-08-13 10:46 PM


Feedback?  For what my uneducated opinion is worth, I vote expand.  I, especially, liked the first two lines!
                 miscellanea

EagleScorpion
Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever
2 posted 2004-08-14 02:51 PM


sometimes the greatest wisdom ever expressed is what is not said or written..

VAS.. either way it is meaningful..

im sure there is a wonderful way to add to it without losing the message

cool beans

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
3 posted 2004-08-15 12:43 PM


This beauty is self contained.  A poem in and of itself.
To embrace it with a larger view, simply clothes in fine apparel a beautiful body.
Smiling at you.
TD

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
4 posted 2004-08-15 12:52 PM


Beautiful as is, and I would like more if you give us more.  It's like the beginning of a story and the wind can wander or you can help us.   Your choice.     ...jo
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
5 posted 2004-08-15 12:53 PM


Sometimes the most beautiful poems are the small ones. I like it.

Cold hands means a warm heart

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2004-08-15 03:10 AM


good as it is but if there's more, then by all means, continue
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