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Open Poetry #33
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Injury
| Open Poetry #33 |
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Injury |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving 
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~~ a little note to my PIP friends, for those who read the poem "Coma" this poem is part of that series. You may not think so when you read it, but rest assured...this is part of a series of events. Im a little nervous about posting this...cause its exposing part of me that i dont normally make public. but, this is part of how im healing..so please..bare with me. oh, and thanks for reading  ~~` ` ` ` Injury (Blame) `````````` im angry today and im going to blame anyone for the seathe that lurks beneath my resemblance of someone who cares ~yeah, right there~ that familiar sting of bruised vanity how ugly can it be? I know naked right through the bone brittle spine exposed soul left orphaned by lapses in time and sometimes i need and bleed and scream in rage and feel betrayed and find myself forbidden to say those things that darken me and swallow whole what little is left to save of me the end was so alone no wonder it was easy to let go and Pity was my only reprieve, unfortunately. i thought i deserved More. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Dawn van Krieken-Smith - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
 write away dear,and we will be here to help you heal..... hugs....  |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
never be afraid to expose your true self and what you are going through, not here...this place is therapy...it is good you are loved and have so many friends |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
and Pity was my only reprieve, unfortunately. i thought i deserved More. One can read this ending more than one way.. which I enjoy in a poem.. the reader being able to take from it the things they want to.. Sometimes... our own self pity is the only reprieve we find..and yes..you deserve more than that or the pity of someone else... but as you hint in your opening remarks, you know there are cyclical things we go through to heal.. and to move on with our own lives after having been hurt or left or after a loss... anger.. denial pity... a good many things we think of as negative in our day to day.. become the means through which we heal the emotional wounds.. so in the end I have to ask.. no matter how hard we wish to rise above being human and feeling those things.. how does it make us bad to feel them.. or to express them in words and works such as this? enjoyed this my friend... and send a hug.. simply because. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
We have to embrace all of ourselves if we are ever going to be whole, and that means the dark side, too. Very good writing, muted.  ......jo |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
and sometimes i need and bleed and scream in rage and feel betrayed and find myself forbidden to say those things that darken me and swallow whole what little is left to save of me the end was so alone no wonder it was easy to let go and Pity was my only reprieve, unfortunately. i thought i deserved More. You expressed yourself magnificently Dawn, and yes... you DO deserve more. love ya keeping this. Mxx The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change. |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
very well expressed. it helps, doesn't it, to write it out, to share it, to know someone hears. sending you a hug -- Susan Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
and I thought it was just me...  keep 'em coming, Dawn. Your words of late are a balm for me. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice writing...James |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Feel free to expose yourself anytime..wait that didn't sound right. Seriously, thanks for sharing and venting. I spent the entire day listening to Pretty Hate Machine and this just keeps with the theme. Somewhere that made sense..don't mind me been a long bad day Just noticed the new pic, ultra cool |
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MovesInSilence Member
since 2004-03-21
Posts 111Perth, Australia |
If i remember correctly someone did scream their lungs out .... oh you mean ...oops I will be here as you need me buddy. It's not the blindfold that blinds you, |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Muted Yes, you do deserve more...You left out the other ingredients that lead to happiness after a traumatic event....these things can be self implied if need be, but you have a family of friends here at pip who I am sure will offer these emotional chattels. "TO Mercy, Pity, Peace, and Love All pray in their distress; And to these virtues of delight Return their thankfulness. " William blake--exert.."The Divine Image" Enjoyed this poem --------ice ><> |
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choshi Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184New York |
Don't stop talking.... Being as you are, whole and in pieces, Beautiful!!!!! ~P |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
muted Sometimes we need to say the word before we can see....and that is a healing thing to do. And, sometimes we need to read someone elses pain, before we can give name to our own. Poetry can do both of these, as yours has. Thank you! |
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~K~ Member
since 2004-07-27
Posts 148 |
Very powerful stuff here. I Really like it. "i need and bleed and scream in rage and feel betrayed and find myself forbidden to say those things that darken me" GREAT work! I must find the coma poem & read it now! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
and sometimes i need and bleed and scream in rage and feel betrayed and find myself forbidden to say those things that darken me and swallow whole what little is left to save of me This is so very powerful... excellent write! |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
It would appear that everyone has highlighted my favorite bits, so just let me compliment the straightforward manner they were offered. Something I find difficult to do. |
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Soleil Noir Senior Member
since 2001-12-19
Posts 688USA |
I know naked right through the bone brittle spine exposed soul left orphaned by lapses in time and sometimes i need and bleed ~*~ More, indeed. I will have to catch up on this series, muted. I'm very far behind on my reading. I will search for you tonight. |
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