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Open Poetry #33
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Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2004-08-12 02:07 PM



The damp spill        of silver hues
touches almost everything
in distance between paths
and how the moons fingers trace
the outline of November rain

   Ask what she knows of winter
from  rivers      the way his hands
moved over her body  when he whispered
the words  'yours'  from  forbidden lips
of pages lost, left there  in  damp waters--
journals;  keepers of broken wings
feet and earth

in dark they have no color  yet
I continue to


read aloud a stangers words--
    the blackness  of  years
spinning   in wholeness
depending on which  dreams
tap blue --- or build memories
lighter then ash  upon window ledges

Would he see? I wonder if he
noticed glass caught in sunlight
I never offered coffee  
always hoping early mornings  would hold my arms
water colors      in deep green
somewhere reflecting   blue


Midnight will find me  once again
haunting    the rain    for one touch    
            of your soaked lips

a memory of  dreams that still ache

come closer so that my heart may be
still
this dance before me

The damp spill        of silver hues
touches almost everything

whisper again the words


I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone though you're still with me
I've been alone all along..Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

© Copyright 2004 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

1 posted 2004-08-12 02:08 PM


Lady Lauren, when you whisper
the world hears
and awaits the next ones.

You touch places

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

2 posted 2004-08-12 02:14 PM


First off, I love your name...Lauren Becall...one of my favorites

read aloud a stangers words--
    the blackness  of  years
spinning   in wholeness
depending on which  dreams
tap blue --- or build memories
lighter then ash  upon window ledges

comparing photographs with self-exploration waves from halfway down the hall...smiling, sometimes not..hence, disappointing self...yet with dignity...

I liked this to

Would he see? I wonder if he
noticed glass caught in sunlight
I never offered coffee  
always hoping early mornings  would hold my arms
water colors      in deep green
somewhere reflecting   blue

how romantic and an inspiring way to descripe your desire to please him...
Incredible write

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2004-08-12 02:14 PM


Greeneyes
The word is elegant.

eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys
4 posted 2004-08-12 02:17 PM


really, im soeachless...

"Midnight will find me  once again
haunting    the rain    for one touch    
            of your soaked lips
a memory of  dreams that still ache

come closer so that my heart may be still
this dance before me

The damp spill        of silver hues
touches almost everything

whisper again the words"

Pimpin and panderin, on a level you can't serve, dismantle, nouns, pronouns, adverbs, and verbs

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2004-08-12 02:26 PM


Shivers....

wow.

Contabo
Member
since 2001-11-21
Posts 159

6 posted 2004-08-12 06:10 PM


you have so much emotion in your writing.

it is pleasant to feel it.

Contabo

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2004-08-12 07:35 PM


The damp spill        of silver hues
touches almost everything
in distance between paths
and how the moons fingers trace
the outline of November rain

   Ask what she knows of winter
from  rivers      the way his hands
moved over her body  when he whispered
the words  'yours'  from  forbidden lips
of pages lost, left there  in  damp waters--
journals;  keepers of broken wings
feet and earth

in dark they have no color  yet
I continue to

read aloud a stangers words--
    the blackness  of  years
spinning   in wholeness
depending on which  dreams
tap blue --- or build memories
lighter then ash  upon window ledges
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Midnight will find me  once again
haunting    the rain    for one touch    
            of your soaked lips
a memory of  dreams that still ache

come closer so that my heart may be still
this dance before me

The damp spill        of silver hues
touches almost everything

whisper again the words


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*shaking me mothy head and sighing*

my oh my....
reading you is like healing rain....

and this one just took my breath away then gave it back....

The damp spill        of silver hues
touches almost everything
in distance between paths
and how the moons fingers trace
the outline of November rain



what an amazing verse of imagery and inspire that is...


absolutely stunning..................


Ask what she knows of winter
from  rivers



just read her poetry and you'll know.  

      


I would love to live as a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.

~Fluent~
John O'Donohue

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
8 posted 2004-08-12 11:00 PM


I find this almost sad, aching in a longing unmet except in memories.  Perhaps that is just how I feel this write, and it whispers to my soul which hears in understanding.

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
9 posted 2004-08-13 12:46 PM


"The damp spill        of silver hues
touches almost everything
in distance between paths
and how the moons fingers trace
the outline of November rain"

Such beautiful lines, Lauren!   ....jo

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
10 posted 2004-08-13 12:52 PM


Silky sensual...James
vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
11 posted 2004-08-13 10:10 AM


loved it
Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
12 posted 2004-08-13 02:54 PM


Lauren

God have I missed your writing! The intensity of this hit me full force...I love reading you, it's like reading this story that I can't put down.

"Would he see? I wonder if he
noticed glass caught in sunlight
I never offered coffee  
always hoping early mornings  would hold my arms
water colors      in deep green
somewhere reflecting   blue"

This particular phrase just left me in awe, mouth hanging open and all. Beautiful as always!
Take care and hugs,
Amy

"When life gives you sorrow, may you experience the spirit of laughter"

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
13 posted 2004-08-13 08:50 PM


gentle strokes of reflection

fantastic intertwining of words and spaces, every line as captivating as the title that drew me in

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
14 posted 2004-08-13 08:56 PM


GreenEyes~
Never better than this~
You touch~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
15 posted 2004-08-14 12:33 PM


as always, breathtaking..missed your words
ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
16 posted 2004-08-15 11:54 AM


Touched deeply by this...
enjoyed
-------ice
  ><>

IndigoEve
Member
since 2003-01-10
Posts 279
Etched in the illusion of time
17 posted 2004-08-16 11:27 AM


I hear my own echo.

Loved.

If I were to touch you, would you bleed a velvet river, running miracles through the sodden ground? --Moi

IndigoEve
Member
since 2003-01-10
Posts 279
Etched in the illusion of time
18 posted 2004-08-16 11:27 AM


Everything keeps double posting! Delete this as well, please
*blushes*

Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
19 posted 2004-08-16 11:34 AM


Amazing writing...These words flow over the heart and leave one speechless....

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

20 posted 2004-10-09 10:49 AM


Happy Birthday girlie!!


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