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Open Poetry #33
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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2004-08-11 08:17 AM


the 4:59 is on time
like a metal belt
on a pimple nose kid
washing windows
at the 76 on 3rd

scratchin' the paint
of my sleep chevy
too deep to return
to the dreams of earl
and his 39.95 restful

goldilocks is nodded
at the hop-inn
black hair spilled
like sticky foot coffee
on a table top with gum undies

waitress says she is gone
been that way since 2
when she was another chick
with another mind
some guy named jack

created a shot at a time


___________
Dark

[This message has been edited by Dark Stranger (08-11-2004 10:32 AM).]

© Copyright 2004 ©Dark 2k - All Rights Reserved
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

1 posted 2004-08-11 08:36 AM


waitress says she is gone
been that way since 2
when she was another chick
with another mind
some guy named jack

created a shot at a time


oh...ouch...darn this one cuts direct and to the point.  Only you could wrap it up this tight and make it sound so good.  This, this is one of my favorites of yours...
along with Jim Dickies Birthday Fifth.

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

2 posted 2004-08-11 08:40 AM


wehewww very intense

you very much remind me of a poet I knew a long time ago...he to was an outstanding poet...very well done

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2004-08-11 08:42 AM


Dark,
Isn't it always that way. LOL enjoyed

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2004-08-11 09:06 AM


Pour me another...
Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

5 posted 2004-08-11 09:10 AM


D: signed up for your mental side trip, as usual, this morning...
one of these days I'm not going to get off the bus...
K

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
6 posted 2004-08-11 10:16 AM


Yes, I see this.  And as always, your words flow in a fascinating tumble.  I look forward to your posts.  I see them as a poetic adventure

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2004-08-11 12:04 PM


DS

You see truth and wrap it in butcher paper...so when I unwrap it with my eyes...it is SO LOUD.  

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
8 posted 2004-08-12 01:20 AM


Raw poetry and a great read!
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