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Open Poetry #33
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nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines

0 posted 2004-08-10 05:17 PM



Malleable

A single tear
the wet of fear
a stain on cheek
of could not speak
to tell, to share
the heartache's hold
a single tear,
her drop of gold.

Tomorrow's his
a wish of hers
illusions fit
of mind, deters
a shaken time
though shared in rhyme
a single tear
of want, sincere.

To suffocate
in fluctuate
a mood in sync
of worded ink
to tell, to share
the heartache's hold
a single tear,
her drop of gold.

M


"Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less."
(Will Moss)

[This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (08-10-2004 06:54 PM).]

© Copyright 2004 Wynter Bliss - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2004-08-10 06:26 PM



This rather
trickles
down
the
p
a
g
e

doesn't it?


nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
2 posted 2004-08-10 06:57 PM


Yes, and it needed a correction, too...glad I checked back

M ( I am having keyboard troubles again...I have to pound the keys to get each letter..but "what they hey"  it gets rid of my frustrations.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2004-08-10 08:22 PM


I know a moth divine who is gonna be all over the rhyme scheme of this'n.

You are packing a powerful muse these days!

*wow*

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
4 posted 2004-08-10 10:59 PM


It won't be the first or the last tear to fall,
which isn't a very comforting thought, I know.

Better days are what we make of them I guess...
and I'm all out of kleenex.
Enjoyed reading this so much Maureen.
Hugs to you girl friend~

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
5 posted 2004-08-11 03:51 AM


Yes, I would say, that this is....a drop of pure gold!  Love your writing, Maureen......*hugs*......jo
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2004-08-11 04:39 AM


gawd!
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
7 posted 2004-08-11 05:13 AM


Oh, me! Oh, my!
I wanna cry!
The words you've told,
Are of pure gold!


EA
Flower

muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
8 posted 2004-08-11 05:26 AM


this does have a great flow...beautiful cadence...

beautiful you Maureen

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

9 posted 2004-08-11 06:26 AM


how beautifully written and felt...
GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
10 posted 2004-08-15 06:44 AM


This one stuck in my head when I read it...
but didn't have a chance then to reply,
so forgive my lateness
This right is perfect in words, rhyme, and rhythm. How precious that tear is....
Beautiful, M

Always, Alyssa

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
                  Joyce kilmer

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
11 posted 2004-08-15 10:07 AM


The thought of tears as being malleable, like gold...
Only a poet/alchemist can image that, and transfer it and stick it on a page as words...I am glad you are a poet and that I had the chance to read this....
enjoyed
--------ice
  ><>

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