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Open Poetry #33
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Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2004-08-09 10:44 AM



I’ll quote it wrong
Mix the syllables into a cadence incomplete
Until in the end it sounds as if
Rain hit hot tin
And all the hiss is syncopated  madness
Chaos of delivery it seems

“Pictures at 10”
once again someone tries to capture the soul
without the words to explain the depths
behind eyes of brown or blue or green

Dictionaries lie you know
One word to you in meaning belies the way
Others hear it spoken or what it means
But pictures you say
Capture all

It a lie
      Too many times told in 20 second bytes
And I can only shake my head
Grin if in me there is a muster
And nod
                Always nod
As if you know you were understood

Read this to me
              And find the right rhythms to say it
That I so absently discarded along the way
In my search for the spaces between words
    The look of unheard

Tell me
               Why I stutter in endless parody of love

And how the rain in August can remind me
  
            That your fingers against my lips
Hushed then the roar
                                         Of storms

© Copyright 2004 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2004-08-09 10:51 AM



You do have a way of transforming common...
to rare.

MovesInSilence
Member
since 2004-03-21
Posts 111
Perth, Australia
2 posted 2004-08-09 11:05 AM


alright, im wowed by this poem, already at  a loss for words..then Sunshine goes and says something awesome and i get dumbfounded and awestruck all over again.

so yeah, what SHE said LOL

muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
3 posted 2004-08-09 11:08 AM


Um, sorry...i wrote that message above, but forgot to change the username from my housemate's!
sorry about that!!!


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2004-08-09 11:41 AM


I’ll quote it wrong
Mix the syllables into a cadence incomplete
Until in the end it sounds as if
Rain hit hot tin
And all the hiss is syncopated  madness
Chaos of delivery it seems


“Pictures at 10”
once again someone tries to capture the soul
without the words to explain the depths
behind eyes of brown or blue or green

Dictionaries lie you know
One word to you in meaning belies the way
Others hear it spoken or what it means
But pictures you say
Capture all

========================================

Always nod
As if you know you were understood

Read this to me
              And find the right rhythms to say it
That I so absently discarded along the way
In my search for the spaces between words
    The look of unheard


=====================================

OH YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you have just written what muse and I struggle with all the time....

ah yesssss..."if words but could they would"
and mine cant...yayaya

this is the coolest poem.....
yet another for my Capt. collection


oh....and to answer this question...

Tell me
               Why I stutter in endless parody of love



cuz if ya didnt?
we'd come looking for ya.  


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2004-08-09 11:57 AM


the rain in August can do a lot of things
Copperbell
Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956

6 posted 2004-08-09 01:57 PM


wow...I wish I could write like that

awesome

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
7 posted 2004-08-09 01:59 PM


Read this to me
              And find the right rhythms to say it
That I so absently discarded along the way
In my search for the spaces between words
    The look of unheard

Tell me
               Why I stutter in endless parody of love

And how the rain in August can remind me
  
            That your fingers against my lips
Hushed then the roar
      Of storms""


Ron, you have out spoken yourself here...such an amazing stanza and feeling

~*~

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone though you're still with me
I've been alone all along..Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
8 posted 2004-08-09 02:35 PM


I am left breathless -

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

9 posted 2004-08-09 02:57 PM


I knew from the title I would love this, no one could write broken english like you
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
10 posted 2004-08-09 03:09 PM


"Read this to me
              And find the right rhythms to say it
That I so absently discarded along the way
In my search for the spaces between words
    The look of unheard"

~ My English should be so broken!!! A brilliant write!

Flowers
EA

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

11 posted 2004-08-09 07:37 PM


And how the rain in August can remind me
  
            That your fingers against my lips
Hushed then the roar
                                         Of storms


Stutter for me anytime.

eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys
12 posted 2004-08-09 07:38 PM


this is wonderful...

a true poet...

Pimpin and panderin, on a level you can't serve, dismantle, nouns, pronouns, adverbs, and verbs

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
13 posted 2004-08-09 07:44 PM


Because they did....and that's really all a man needs to know.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
14 posted 2004-08-09 10:05 PM


ah, to "hush the roar of storms"

now THAT's a moment I'd remember forever

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

15 posted 2004-08-09 11:20 PM


"And how the rain in August can remind me
  
            That your fingers against my lips
Hushed then the roar
                                         Of storms"
- - - - - - - -
Your poetry is impressive, Sir.
Thanks for this.

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
16 posted 2004-08-09 11:26 PM


"Tell me
         Why I stutter in endless parody of love
And how the rain in August can remind me
         That your fingers against my lips
Hushed then the roar
         Of storms"

Loved these lines and understand them well; loved the entire poem and so admire your style of writing.   ....jo

babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City
17 posted 2004-10-20 09:17 AM


damn you can even stutter eloquently...lol

love this, feel every breath...

P E A C E and O N E
**babyblue**

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
18 posted 2004-10-20 09:20 AM


again, such beauty . .  I noticed your preoccupation with eyes . . . the mirror to the soul.

Dictionaries lie you know
One word to you in meaning belies the way
Others hear it spoken or what it means
But pictures you say
Capture all

It's a lie
      Too many times told in 20 second bytes
And I can only shake my head


so very true . . .

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
19 posted 2004-10-21 12:02 PM


Wow...
um, yeah... wow.
No other words...

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
20 posted 2004-11-01 09:38 PM


wow
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