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Open Poetry #33
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Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2004-08-09 10:18 AM



The other half holds no clouds
And lets the sun drain through.

August should be the time of heat
Dry ground teased by humid air
Until sanity knows no reason
To get up each day and face again
Unrelenting shimmer of asphalt
Or mirages that dance on open field
Where even shade is denied existence
Too few the needs for it there
And far too many who would have paused
In daily chore underneath it


I watched this morning
As my half of the sky was filled in bruised black
Trimmed in distant tumbled rumble of thunder
That threatened wet slick drops of rain
While the other half promised to singe eyes
As they searched beyond the ground.

Remembering the way this season of summer
Had taken strange ways into itself
I thought of another August
  When I rose to early fog
And watched you lie
                  Tousled hair covering half of one cheek
That I brushed away
                                     Kissed
Before slipping out the door to drive
Another week away
                                

August has become fickled mistress of summer
And I am not able to hold on to the norm of her
      Just as I was not able to hold onto the heart

Of you

© Copyright 2004 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

1 posted 2004-08-09 10:23 AM


And watched you lie
                  Tousled hair covering half of one cheek
That I brushed away
                                     Kissed
Before slipping out the door to drive
Another week away
                                

August has become fickled mistress of summer
And I am not able to hold on to the norm of her
      Just as I was not able to hold onto the heart

Of you


this was heartwrenching, almost felt like I was reading my own story here...the pain of love lost is not something one can blick an eye at, it may take years...or the rest of someone's life.

Good write

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2004-08-09 10:23 AM


I thought of another August
  When I rose to early fog
And watched you lie
                  Tousled hair covering half of one cheek
That I brushed away
                                     Kissed
Before slipping out the door to drive
Another week away
                                

August has become fickled mistress of summer
And I am not able to hold on to the norm of her
      Just as I was not able to hold onto the heart

Of you

~*~

You write anybody's memories so well...
so tender...
so danged beautifully....

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2004-08-09 10:50 AM


Ron

You are so good at tying a ribbon around things of earth and attaching it to things of heart.  

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2004-08-09 10:55 AM


August should be the time of heat
Dry ground teased by humid air
Until sanity knows no reason
To get up each day and face again
Unrelenting shimmer of asphalt
Or mirages that dance on open field
Where even shade is denied existence
Too few the needs for it there
And far too many who would have paused
In daily chore underneath it


I watched this morning
As my half of the sky was filled in bruised black
Trimmed in distant tumbled rumble of thunder
That threatened wet slick drops of rain
While the other half promised to singe eyes
As they searched beyond the ground.

Remembering the way this season of summer
Had taken strange ways into itself

======================================

what you do with imagery is magic....
I neeed to put on sunglasses and sunblock to read this.

love the title... very cool.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2004-08-09 12:09 PM


*nodding*

wow

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
6 posted 2004-08-09 01:03 PM


Cpat...you needed to post this with a kleenex alert as it brought tears to my eyes...wonderful freeverse
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
7 posted 2004-08-09 01:32 PM


honest and emotive...

you could save me some time and just send me everything you write so I don't have to keep clicking on "save thread"...


"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
8 posted 2004-08-09 02:03 PM


magic! wow....you have an amazing talent!

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone though you're still with me
I've been alone all along..Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2004-08-09 02:21 PM


I ever mention that I hate August? Almost as much as I hate her--

(Just kiddin' Cap! )

I'm in a bit of a weird mood today. At least yer getting a cool front right? We already had ours. Humidy dropped to 50%. Yeah. That was it. And I blinked too. Gone now. Sigh.

I'll shaddup now. And you keep writing like this and I'm going to start calling you Maestro.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

10 posted 2004-08-09 02:28 PM


I watched this morning
As my half of the sky was filled in bruised black
Trimmed in distant tumbled rumble of thunder
That threatened wet slick drops of rain
While the other half promised to singe eyes
As they searched beyond the ground.

someday....when I become a poet..
I want to write like this...
gawd you are so good....
thank you for sharing your talent with us.

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
11 posted 2004-08-09 02:30 PM


this is so good, so wrought with feeling and breath -- much enjoyed.

  Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

James_A_Fraser
Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines
12 posted 2004-08-09 07:42 PM


Love and distance, distance and love -- and the miles like cubes of granite. Isn't that always the way.



~~J

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
13 posted 2004-08-09 08:18 PM


I'm learning as I read you.
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
14 posted 2004-08-10 02:05 AM


I really enjoy your poetry.  This one I really relate to but for me, it was October.   ....jo
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
15 posted 2004-08-10 09:05 AM


"Unrelenting shimmer of asphalt
Or mirages that dance on open field
Where even shade is denied existence"

~ An exceptionally poetic rendition of the oppressive heat and blinding light of a hot  summer's day!!!

Very well done, El Capitan!

EA
Flowers



JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
16 posted 2004-08-11 06:49 PM


Nice writing...James
miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
17 posted 2004-08-11 09:30 PM


What can I say that hasn't been said?  I liked the strength of your imagery.  Everywhere, imagery, evoking feelings. For example: even shade denied existence.  Pretty potent writing, Sir Cpat!  Your poetry incorporates pauses, just in the right place.  I don't know how you do it, but you do it masterfully, giving the reader time to be absorbed within the setting, within the mood.  Your writing continues to amaze me.
           miscellanea

Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
18 posted 2004-08-12 01:28 AM


You know what I think, Cpat.

You know I think you're absolutely amazing.

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