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Open Poetry #33
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Let us burn
| Open Poetry #33 |
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Let us burn |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
The haze thickened all morning and any hope of reprieve had been scorched by an unrelenting sun hours before she landed in exaggerated heap on the front seat of my car. I could feel the heat flowing from her sun bathed skin as she reached, turning the knob on the dash towards blue. Cool air rushing, she leaned back into soft leather, tilted her head and lifting the hair from her glistening neck, sighed against parted lips, overtaking mercury’s ascent as if it were a sputtering candle. I didn’t love her and doubted she loved me much past those moments when the sun in her eyes blurred all reason, leaving only desire and me... waiting for a fiery sun to set and the burn going down. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Duncan - All Rights Reserved | |||
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Excellent, Wow~ what a way to describe it. I almost broke out in a sweat... |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Great write, Duncan!  ....jo |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Duncan That's one way to put it, excellent write. |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Burn, fire, desire, yes, all this and more-- amazing what a little chemistry can stir up.  SusanHappiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
I didn’t love her and doubted she loved me much past those moments when the sun in her eyes blurred all reason, leaving only desire and me... waiting for a fiery sun to set and the burn going down. ~~**~~ looking and reading this, from a womens' point of view, I have to say I completely understand ! excellent write! I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone though you're still with me |
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aujussy wolf
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215Michigan |
wow love the way it all unfolds , style and story ,,nice work d |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
awesome! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Damn, dunc. You rock, bud. |
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choshi Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184New York |
Strong, poignant writing, vivid images, honest emotions....~P |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
me too! (waiting for a fiery sunset) what a hot write slam Dunc into the library  |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Great write! What a good way to slant this....Super! Eric Ain't doin nothin at all |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
More, please! |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
nicely done Dunc.. concise and told in a way that takes the reader with you... |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
The temperature's a risin'!!!  I now need to turn the knob on my dash to blue! Very well written!!!  Linda |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
 perfect description of those desires that come in between the other stuff.. and sometimes it turns into the other stuff.  "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
The haze thickened all morning and any hope of reprieve had been scorched by an unrelenting sun hours before she landed in exaggerated heap on the front seat of my car. I could feel the heat flowing from her sun bathed skin as she reached, turning the knob on the dash towards blue. Cool air rushing, ========================= sighed against parted lips, overtaking mercury’s ascent as if it were a sputtering candle. ====================================== Well now....lookie who wrote a moth anthem.  Yowzers me thinks I got scorched on the above verse...and how can a verse be so hot and still be soooooooo coooooool overtaking mercury’s ascent Awesome write Dunc, ya had me from the title on. yayayaya [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (08-09-2004 11:42 AM).] |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Let us burn??...This one sure heats up the blue pages. Love the vivid imagery you've set for our mental viewing pleasure |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
OH. And mercury is my ruling planet. *battin' eyelashes*  |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Behave Karen...  |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
enjoyed......like your style of writing |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
am so glad that this popped back up! What a way to burn huh? Very well done Duncan! |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Lord bless the burn! Where'd we be without THAT! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Duncan You are soooooo cool!! |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
whoa! diggin this one Cowboy |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
The haze thickened all morning and any hope of reprieve had been scorched by an unrelenting sun hours before she landed in exaggerated heap on the front seat of my car. sighed against parted lips, overtaking mercury’s ascent as if it were a sputtering candle. Wowzers! Boy you weren't kidding your head was in a different place than Ed's were ya? One putting out a fire, the other building one. |
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*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
whew!! Damn that got my heart pounding, very well written sir! ~Live and Laugh~ Don't look to me for perfection for I will surely let you down. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I need a fan for this write. It's even better the second time around. Maybe I'll go for thirds. |
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msflame Member
since 2002-05-21
Posts 188 |
What a relief and delight. I thought it waw going to be "repent now, or face hell" enjoyed. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Duncan Desire burnes a bright candle, well done my friend. |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Awesome! Love it, love it, lots! Very good... Always, Alyssa Poems are made by fools like me, |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
BANG BANG  ........ HAAAAAAAAAAAAA .. YA MISSED |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I suppose I should've seen that coming. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Bet you loved the moment...James |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Isn't there a leash law at PIP????? |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Cool air rushing, she leaned back into soft leather, tilted her head and lifting the hair from her glistening neck, sighed against parted lips, overtaking mercury’s ascent as if it were a sputtering candle. ************************ Seriously, that is one cool image and a great write. Much enjoyed Duncan. But hey??????? What's this with the "cowboy" bizzzz pardner? |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Yep, when the real cowboys aren't around, I saddle up my porch puppy self and try to live up to the legend... Thanks Mark, I appreciate the read and the cool reply.  |
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