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Open Poetry #33
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inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio

0 posted 2004-08-06 09:06 PM



This moon that greets me;

has it been defeated, as it
pales faintly, a dying wish
within the light of morning,

or does it hang,relentless
as this badge of pain
i proudly wear,in the hopes
of your reappearance.

[This message has been edited by inkedgoddess (08-06-2004 11:50 PM).]

© Copyright 2004 inkedgoddess - All Rights Reserved
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
1 posted 2004-08-06 10:12 PM


A different style for you...becoming...
I have noticed that time is stretched to accomodate the prophecies.
Hugs,
TD

froggy
Senior Member
since 2003-06-23
Posts 1893
Michigan
2 posted 2004-08-06 10:32 PM


This a great read.
I liked it.

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
3 posted 2004-08-06 11:16 PM


A potent and seamless construct here ma'am.  The imagery of the moon disappearing in the morning sun paints a vivid picture of fading hope.  A plaintive entreatment.
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2004-08-07 12:45 PM


understand this well
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
5 posted 2004-08-07 12:52 PM


Your words dance in the moonlight, suspending the reader in thought.

Keep your eyes open girlie, it will come again and shine on you, no doubt.

Hugs Michele~

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
6 posted 2004-08-07 03:46 AM


Geeez, what is it about today, Inkedgoddess?!  I'm feeling the same way and I think it must be something in the stars.  Putting that aside, great poem...obviously, I felt it.   ....jo
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
7 posted 2004-08-07 06:58 AM


"a dying wish
within the light of morning"

great line!

  great poem!

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
8 posted 2004-08-07 07:56 AM


The moon pales in beauty to your poetic soul... Moon 2  

Flower
EA

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
9 posted 2004-08-07 08:27 AM



to all of you dear poets

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

10 posted 2004-08-07 10:19 AM


I enjoyed your thoughts immensely Michelle,
but this line here

a dying wish
within the light of morning

pure perfection.  Well done lady poet,
and hugs to you.

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
11 posted 2004-08-07 10:36 AM


Very poignant-

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

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