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Open Poetry #33
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Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

0 posted 2004-08-05 10:36 PM


Wooden feet stand beneath your sway
as each tick of my life goes up
the chimney’s stack, tugged by
the drafting winds.

Each beat, a symphony of essence passing
upon the fast lane of a gambler’s eve.
When the die are cast and my lips taste
the bitter fruit of my demise into ash.

And, till the candle’s wick flutters, I
shall breath each ragged breath of
life, smelling the dried rose upon
the withered vine. Spiraling upwards
into the infinite calm of a clock’s
tick prior to the chime, signaling
that all is now but a whisper of
what was and shall never  again be
more than just a memory.


© Copyright 2004 Barry J. Tackett - All Rights Reserved
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
1 posted 2004-08-05 11:07 PM


"And, till the candle’s wick flutters, I
shall breath each ragged breath of
life, smelling the dried rose upon
the withered vine."Wilted Rose

~ Gosh yer goooood! No, yer greeeaaaat!
Candelabra

Flower
EA

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
2 posted 2004-08-06 12:02 PM


Barry dear...


Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
3 posted 2004-08-06 12:23 PM


Wow!  Okay, wow again.  Great metaphor.

  Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
4 posted 2004-08-06 01:15 AM


What a setting, there at the desk near the fireplace on a windy, stormy night, writing, writing, pouring out the rain of your heart as the candle flickers with each draft of wind........beautiful poem, BJ.   .....jo

[This message has been edited by iliana (08-06-2004 01:46 AM).]

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
5 posted 2004-08-06 01:18 AM


Wooden feet stand beneath your sway
as each tick of my life goes up
the chimney’s stack, tugged by
the drafting winds.

After reading the first verse, I was anchored here.  Wonderful writing, Magnus.

          miscellanea

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
6 posted 2004-08-06 01:43 AM


I think about time in this way also..you have reached inside my head and have seen my thoughts...well done!

~ARH

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched.They must be felt with the heart."~Helen Keller (1880-1968)


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2004-08-06 02:12 AM


gaw
Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
8 posted 2004-08-07 11:19 AM


WOW!!! This one took my breath away...the words flow into the heart and soul....

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
9 posted 2004-08-07 11:46 AM



beautiful and fragile as the breath on the candle

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

10 posted 2004-08-07 12:41 PM


particularly like this:
. . ."into the infinite calm of a clock’s
tick prior to the chime . . ."

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