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Open Poetry #33
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Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635


0 posted 2004-08-03 04:08 PM



Pledge

The young time of us granted
That for better, I would abide the worse of you;
While we rode poor waves to a richer beach
Then back again,
And back once more.

Who needs one in health, for
Only in illness does the cling begin,
And static frayed because you wouldn’t see
When I was really there, your mind
Wandering off aways onto a time before me,
Magnifying her sins, not mine.

Never would I have imagined a union
So one-sidedly “all about me,”
When I once believed it might be my me that
Helped you find you, though you never really needed
My me to elevate your you, except
As window dressing.

That you I knew when the pledge was given
Has evaporated like an early morning dream,
Leaving me to dust motes of that you
Who was once, my love.

At least I enjoy the lemon scent,

Even if I have to search for respect by
Drawing my own name in the dust
of dust.

© Copyright 2004 Decaflame - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2004-08-03 04:23 PM


bad day in Bedrock....

I always knew there was a reason for the lemon scent in pledge.. just wasn't sure till now what it was for.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2004-08-03 04:26 PM


"When I once believed it might be my me that
Helped you find you, though you never really needed
My me to elevate your you, except
As window dressing."

Deca!!  So good to read you!
I used to know someone like this..
made me feel like no more than his trophy
to be paraded here and there on his arm.
Love ya lady~

~ Those who complain the sun has gone out of their world
       ....have obviously never danced in the rain ~

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
3 posted 2004-08-03 04:29 PM


quote:
That you I knew when the pledge was given
Has evaporated like an early morning dream,
Leaving me to dust motes of that you
Who was once, my love.




Impressive words! Sometimes this happens, but .... how sad!
Love, Margherita

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
4 posted 2004-08-03 04:52 PM


Oh my goodness. Decaflame, this is excellent, and another addition to my library! hugs, Chrislane

"At one glance
I love you
With a thousand hearts."


— Mihri Hatun, Turkish poet

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
5 posted 2004-08-03 05:28 PM


so true for those who have lived it...

M

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
6 posted 2004-08-03 08:05 PM


My first marriage...hmmmmm, yes....to a tee.  Enjoyed your writing (even though sad).  .......jo
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2004-08-03 09:28 PM


Deca

"Who needs one in health, for
Only in illness does the cling begin,
And static frayed because you wouldn’t see
When I was really there, your mind
Wandering off aways onto a time before me,
Magnifying her sins, not mine."

What a poignant hurt life can be....and you just can't rub it out.  

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
8 posted 2004-08-03 11:07 PM


Perhaps Formby's might work better?

the unvarnished truth....

I liked it.

Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635

9 posted 2004-08-04 09:14 AM


Reb? Quite likely, and glad you took time

Martie, no, no rubbing out - but perhaps a change of furniture...

Iliana...sis...I know...

So true indeed, Maureen...

Thank you, Chrislane...

Margherita, sometimes...and sometimes not.  Those are the times to appreciate.

Enchantress, aren't we glad you don't know someone like that any longer?

Cpat, I understand you can get orange now, as well.  Your preference?  

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
10 posted 2004-08-04 09:40 AM


At least I enjoy the lemon scent,

Even if I have to search for respect by
Drawing my own name in the dust
of dust.

Is it "Oh!" or is it "Ow!" that this poem gives me the most of....? No matter, this drink is spiked with real, from the ice-thinned spirits at the top to the unwelcome dregs at the bottom.

The shame of it is, that when it's "all about me" for one, the other is crowded out and excluded, leaving them with an unwanted "all about me" of their own when what they really wanted was a chance to give.

Library with this one? You betcha!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
11 posted 2004-08-04 10:56 AM


"Never would I have imagined a union
So one-sidedly “all about me,”
When I once believed it might be my me that
Helped you find you, though you never really needed
My me to elevate your you, except
As window dressing"

I can only sit here reading, and rereading the raw truth of this...

amazing.  

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
12 posted 2004-08-04 10:57 AM


"click"
JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
13 posted 2004-08-04 11:09 AM


Very impressive write!!  Enjoyed.

JL

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
14 posted 2004-08-04 11:23 AM


A very clever, yet ever so sad, write...


EA

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
15 posted 2004-08-04 04:06 PM


Raw, unique... absolutely excellent!
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
16 posted 2004-08-04 04:28 PM


though you never really needed
My me to elevate your you, except
As window dressing

You know I too knew someone like that once, and I am happy to say, she wakes up smiling every day now having learned the difference between being lonely and alone.  This is heart-wrenching.

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
17 posted 2004-08-04 07:08 PM


enjoyed
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
18 posted 2004-08-05 01:59 AM


That you I knew when the pledge was given
Has evaporated like an early morning dream,

and our dreams continue, but sadly, never like that again.

You made me weep Decaflame, but that's the way of poetry I suppose,  I know this too.

Oh so stirring this is, and so very nicely done.

Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635

19 posted 2004-08-05 08:45 AM


Bluesy, next time I'll send a hanky...but yes, I cried too.  Thank you.

Bless you, Vandana

Yes, Mys, you've been blessed with a lot of personalities in your lifetime; it's in this way we soon divide the wheat from the chaff.  Thank you for reading, as always...

suthern, you, the queen of raw...I do thank you for your own poems...keep teaching...

thank you, EA

JL, quite the comment.  Thank you.

Susan, thank You for the *click*

Rat?  Both, sir, both.  Thank you for your eyes.

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